Getting physically intimate with your partner is an important part of the relationship and can be an intense experience for some. But the tears that come of it can mean different things.
Feeling hot, sweaty and pleasantly exhausted after a good round of sex is normal and mostly welcomed. But crying during or after sex can be alarming, both to you and your partner. What if I told you that this too, is actually normal and quite common?
They could be tears of joy, relief or in some cases, even melancholy. Sometimes, it could even be a completely physical reaction. According to Healthline, this phenomenon is called postcoital dysphoria (PCD). In fact, in a 2015 study published in The International Society for Sexual Medicine, researchers discovered that out of 230 heterosexual females, 46.2% had experienced PCD.
"Post-sex is a reflective period, and that can bring up emotions and experiences you normally keep under wraps," says Ian Kerner, a New York City–based sex therapist in an article by Health.com.
While enjoying that sexual intimacy with your partner, if you start to cry, it's normal. However, finding out the reason for it may help both you and your partner figure out how to keep it from happening again. Here's what those post-sex tears could mean:
You've experienced tears of joy before and being intimate with your partner can evoke a ton of intense feelings. If you're truly in love with your partner or if it is the best sex you've ever had, then don't be freaked out by the tears.
For some people, being extremely angry or anxious can cause tears. You've probably come close to tears when having a fight with your partner, but you know it comes from anger. Similarly, if you are upset with your partner's performance or are anxious about your own performance, it could cause you to tear up.
“There are many medical and physical explanations for painful intercourse such as vaginal dryness, pelvic inflammation, and endometriosis,” psychotherapist Dana Dorfman explained to Cosmopolitan. “As a result, a woman might cry as a result of physical pain.” If you feel this way, telling your partner to pause for a while might just be best for both you and him.
That rising pressure, the tingles in your legs, the rapture from the motion - all of it might be a bit much to take at one shot, especially once the orgasm hits. And it can leave you feeling not just like you're flying and because it's a purely physical response, the tears might naturally form. During sex, the love hormone called oxytocin is released which can actually heighten your emotions.
In the same way, if your partner leaves you high and frustrated, that too can cause you to tear up. This might be an indication that you need to have a talk with him about what is best, sexually, for both of you.
Both of you might not be on the same page about what excites you or what is considered foreplay. If you want to please your partner but you're not completely okay with the way they are trying to arouse you, it can confuse you. And this feeling can make you feel like crying. Having a conversation with them about what you consider "safe" can help improve your sex life.
If you are still unable to slot your tears into these feelings, then you might need to ask yourself a few questions to help you understand why you are crying:
1. “What am I feeling right now?”
2. “What do these tears mean?”
3. “What do I need right now?”
Maybe answering these questions can help you understand what you're going through and whether you need to make some changes in your sex life. It could mean that a sit-down with your partner is required as well.
If you are still unconvinced, connecting with a doctor could help you understand PCD better.