Real people with real experiences have expressed their opinion on why some people cheat on their partners.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on May 29, 2020. It has since been updated.
Relationships, commitment - as wonderful as they are, it's not for everyone. Not all people make good partners. There could be multiple reasons why two people are not compatible but one of the worst things someone could do while in a relationship is cheating. It shows how little value they place in their relationship and how little they care about their partner. People who cheat are aware of how hurtful it will be for their partner when they find out but do it anyway.
For them, at that moment, fulfilling their own desires might be more important than anything else. There are also people who enter into parallel relationships while they are married or in a long-term relationship. They do it in a calculated way, which shows that they have no guilt or remorse over what they are doing. But, those aren't the only reasons why people act this way.
On Reddit, a number of people spoke up about why some people cheat in a relationship and they have some deep insights. Here are some things that real people have said:
"Because sometimes you want to give in to temptation without losing the steady loving relationship at home. Maybe you go to a party and have amazing chemistry with someone. You might want to have fun and give in to carnal desires, then the next morning, go home to your partner and continue your regular life as is. It comes down to selfishness. It takes willpower, discipline, and integrity to keep yourself away from these temptations and to refuse to succumb to these urges. Some people just don't have the spine," said one Reddit user.
"Selfishness is the primary root cause. People with low self-esteem can still be selfish, focused so much on their own happiness that they ignore their partner's well-being. But it's obvious that many people with ludicrous, obnoxiously high self-esteem who enjoy sex will also cheat," said another.
"It’s a complete lack of any form of respect that enables a person to cheat on someone they claim to love or care about. What drives me nuts is as soon as they are caught it’s always someone else’s fault," said one Reddit user.
"It’s a 'have it both ways' thing, as you said. People want both a new partner and their steady current partner," said another.
"My uncle told my sister's bf it's ok if he cheats on my sister bc all men make mistakes. He said this in the middle of my sister's bf telling our uncle how much he loves her. He told my sister and she cried. A lot of people are ugly. The cheaters, the mistresses, the people that know and won't tell you bc it's 'none of their business'," said one user.
"Low self-esteem and abusive relationship. Too scared to leave. Someone makes you feel good instead of hating yourself. If I hadn’t cheated I probably would’ve stayed.
The better thing to do would be to just leave but between the past history of abuse and completely non-existent self-worth, I don’t think I’d have found it my self-esteem if I haven’t cheated. Even then, 0/10 do not recommend," said another person.
"Usually need for validation. If your love is still fresh it feels amazing to be loved by this great person. Then you get used to them and it's not as much of a boost anymore. People who rely on the boost of others' approval are more at risk of cheating. The fact someone else wants them makes them feel so extraordinary," said one person.
"The case usually is low self-esteem. I dated a girl who cheated on me because she had low self-esteem, so she’d run to other guys to tell her that she’s beautiful and how much they like her so she could feel better about herself. But it also has to do with selfishness and lack of respect for your partner. Clearly, if your partner cheats on you, they don’t respect you whatsoever," said one Reddit user, showing that there is more than one reason why people cheat.
"There are two kinds: In most cases, there is some sort of dissatisfaction personally or with the relationship that causes it. Instead of addressing the problem or leaving the relationship, they look for solutions to their bad feelings elsewhere. The second kind is the selfish piece of shit who has no idea how to even love another person. They've cheated on every partner they've had and don't feel guilty for it. They are borderline (if not full-blown) sociopaths. Posters here [Reddit] tend to conflate these two groups into the same thing, but there is a difference. The first kind can learn from their mistakes and have a chance of having a healthy relationship with someone in the future. The second kind will never have a healthy relationship," said one Reddit user.
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