You hear her voice every day in your heart and head only to later realize that they will never be spoken again.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on February 14, 2020. It has since been updated.
If you have lost a loved one you will know that it is not just the loss that hurts but also the memories that keep haunting. Most importantly, the pain never seems to end if the loved one is none other than your mother. For many, talking to their moms is like breathing; necessary and effortless. The one day that you don't talk to her makes you realize how incomplete your life is without her wise words or merely her voice. It also makes you worried about such a time when she will not be around to talk to you on anything or just listen to you. And if you have gone through the tragic experience of losing your mother, no one could ever fill the void that she left.
More than anything, not being able to talk to her about the little things is probably what makes your days grimmer than ever. So if you are a daughter who craves to hear her mom's voice and talk to her about all that's bothering you or just to tell her how much you love her, you will understand how much it hurts.
Moms love checking up on their children all the time! That is her way to show that she cares for you no matter what. You did get annoyed often due to her habit of calling you any time of the day and asking the same mundane questions. But now that she is not around, you stare at your phone screen every now and then hoping to see a call from her number. You miss her nagging. You are more than ready to answer all her questions about what you ate and what time you'll get home but deep inside a voice tells you that the time has passed and the hollow feeling of emptiness clouds your heart.
How many times has it happened when you have had a heated argument with your mother but the next time you call her she talks to you just like, well, your mother! You knew that come what may, she will never make you feel unwelcome if you called her. In fact, you can call her any time of the day and share your thoughts, feelings, and everything in between. You could call her when you couldn't sleep or when you wanted to escape from a dull party and she would never talk to you like you are being intrusive. She was your friend, partner, and mentor!
It hasn't worn off, has it? The habit of calling her during times of confusion and dilemma. Even today when you find yourself in a difficult situation you inadvertently pick up the phone to call her to ask for advice only to remember that she isn't here, only her values and wisdom remain. While you hold her values and her wise words close to your heart, you always miss hearing them from her in her trademark tone that makes every difficulty seem so easy.
"Mom, remind me to pack my black file tomorrow," or "Mom, how long should I boil the pasta"? You miss asking her these questions because you know that she took up your responsibility even when away and that she always knew exactly what to say. It always amazed you how she figured out that you are ill just by listening to your first "hello" or how many days you haven't taken a shower! Maybe she had super-powers. The mom kind of super-powers.
The way your mother asked you how you are had a certain healing power to it. You felt relieved and loved every time she asked you "how are you?" At present, there are many who ask you this every day but nothing is even close to her soothing tone. Maybe it was just her voice that made you feel that you are not alone. Maybe that's why you miss her voice so much today because its absence makes you feel that you are, actually, alone.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.