He could be using aggression or coercion to make sure you're making him alone happy all the time. But you deserve to be happy and in a mutually respectful relationship.
Manipulation is all about how much they control you without you realizing it. Few of the telling signs are when you start doing things you would never do otherwise or if you feel obligated to do it. The best manipulators make you feel that it was your idea to begin with by twisting your words and actions. You could end up feeling confused about something you probably didn't do but were told that you did. At this stage, he's already gaslighting you and trying to make you doubt yourself.
In a relationship, if you think you can't say no to what they want you to do without a hugely negative reaction, you should leave your partner. The level of control they have on you by then is enormous and you need to extricate yourself from their tangles. If your partner, whom you are supposed to be able to trust a hundred percent, does something so grand it is a betrayal too big to forgive.
If you find yourself in a difficult situation with your partner regularly without realizing how it blew up, observe if he's showing these six signs:
Imagine that your partner and you had an argument but regardless of what was said and who started it, you are the one who apologizes every time. If your partner is shaming you for the heartbreak and the hurt they feel every time, even though it was their responsibility, you have a manipulator on your hands. In this instance, you can only say sorry for what you did and nothing else. You shouldn't play into their trap of guilting you.
Manipulation can be subtle or more obvious in an aggressive way, which is a way of bullying. They could raise their voice during an argument so that you submit to what they want from you. Each and every move is for their advantage alone. They will use negative emotions, their voice, and strong body language to coerce you into doing things their way.
This is one of the worst ways of manipulating someone. This is plain old emotional abuse because they are trying to discredit your intelligence. They try to make you feel that you are losing your mind. Few examples in popular media are Gone Girl and The Girl on the Train. If those films reminded you of your partner, you have a potentially difficult future ahead with him.
Manipulators pretend they didn't say something, pretend you didn't say something, twist the truth, re-invent the past, make you think you forgot things, and like you're losing your mind. You end up feeling that you can't trust yourself.
If they're eerily calm, even during moments of chaos when you're angry out of your mind at what they did, it's a red flag. This is their way of making you feel that you're overreacting. They try to downplay the scale of what they did to invalidate the hurt you're feeling at what they did to you. In this situation, trust yourself because you have legitimate reasons for anger even if they won't acknowledge them.
They want you to think that they have done no wrong and it is always your fault for blowing things out of proportion. They don't want to take responsibility or accountability for their actions. They will use inventive ways to twist the situation around and blame you for it. They will stoop as low as saying that they did it because they love you.
You are not responsible for anyone else's action but your own. Nobody should be forced to apologize for things they didn't do or be forced to do things they don't want to. If you are regularly forced into such a situation, it might be time to leave.
Whenever they don't want to do something you have planned or if things are going south for them, do they use illness or other ways to show that they need you? They could use moments of weakness, real or otherwise, to escape from important conversations or engagements that are important to you. If they are using "headaches" or some such equivalent to get out of chores, and instead want you around to cater to their needs all the time, you could be in a relationship with a manipulative individual. They are using whatever tools are available to them to make you give them extra attention.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.
Cover image source: Getty Images
