Men are not known for expressing their feelings. But just like you, they too have certain expectations in a relationship.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on July 18, 2019. It has since been updated.
Communication. It is one of the key points of a successful relationship. Ask anyone - psychologists, celebrities, friends in happy relationships. Yet, somehow we miss out on acting on it. Especially men. Your man too, perhaps.
Being socially conditioned to repress his feelings or tamp them down, by the time he's with you, he seems reluctant to share his emotions with you. That makes it hard for you to understand what he needs, doesn't it? Just like men often complain they aren't mind-readers, women aren't either.
However, since he doesn't want to completely open up, we've made it easier for you to finally be able to understand what he wants from you. You're just putting in the effort to talk. So here's what he really wants but doesn't know how to express:
For most men, respect is equivalent to love. You understand the value of respect because you've worked hard to gain it. In the same way, he wants to know that you trust him and value his choices as well. He might not be able to tell you outright, but if he feels that you disapprove of the things that make him who he is, he might not be able to trust you to actually care for him.
For long, most men have been taught to avoid appearing weak. But your man wants the same emotional connection from you the way you want from him. He will take some time because he needs to know that you will be there for him no matter what. Whether he cries, breaks down, or rants, he wants to know that you will be there with him through it all.
You love getting compliments from your man and being told that you're loved. In the same way, he likes it too. He just doesn't know how to tell you that he too would like words of praise from you. He loves knowing that you're happy with him, but if you don't say it often, the doubt will creep into his mind. Acknowledging it every now and then is a good way to let him know he's loved.
Space is extremely important for him. While he loves being with you, he also likes being able to enjoy some alone time or hanging out with his own social circle. It's a way for him to connect with who he is at his core. In fact, you need it too. Taking the time to recharge on your own is extremely essential for both of you. It doesn't mean you love each other any less. If anything, absence makes the heart fonder.
The passion that brought you two together is also one of the things that keep you together. What sharing emotions is to you, sexual connection is to him. While women often need emotional bonding before they have sex, men need sexual bonding before they can up emotionally. Sometimes, it might seem like he's simply lost in the heat of the moment, but his need to be with you can't always be emotional in nature alone. Besides, it doesn't always have to be your man initiating it. Every once in a while, you could take the lead and spice things up a bit.