Your partner might tell you everything is fine, but the truth lies in the way their body language changes around you.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on June 19, 2020. It has since been updated.
When they say actions speak louder than words, they have a reason for saying so. If you think your partner is being dishonest with you, they might use their words to placate you or manipulate you into believing you're overthinking. But they don't realize that you're smarter than that and aren't falling for their words. Instead, you look at their body language. Those subtle changes in their bodies are far more real and it's easier to get through to the truth. Here's how your partner's body language changes when they're not being faithful to you.
Hand-holding, arms around the shoulder, hand on each other's waist, all of this used to be there at the start of your relationship. However, if they're unfaithful, they might hesitate to do the same gestures when out in public. "What you’re generally looking for is a shift from normal behavior," said Patti Wood, body language relationship expert, and author to Insider. "So, if they used to kiss you all the time and suddenly that behavior disappears it’s a shift from the baseline."
If you find that your partner seems to look away when you try to make eye contact with them, it could be a sign that they're emotionally disconnected from you or feel guilt. "When people lie they’re in cognitive overload and they’ll start to do different things with their eyes because they’re actually doing something different in their brain with making up the answer or hiding an answer that’s true," said Traci Brown, body language expert and author, according to Cosmopolitan.
"It is common knowledge that disinterested people will look in any other direction for something or someone more interesting," body language expert Steven Keyl explained to The Insider. "Since we know looking away will be interpreted as rude, people overcompensate by making too much eye contact." So if your partner is making a noticeable effort to look you in the eye, it could be that they are making the effort to keep you from figuring out that they are lying.
You might be surprised but even the positioning of your partner's feet can be a sign of infidelity. "Look at their feet," Patti Wood told Elite Daily. "Where the toes point, the heart follows. Look at your sweetie's feet when you are out with other people. If they are pointed at you, great. If they're pointed at someone else, your partner may be spending more time pointing at someone else."
Even while having a normal conversation, you might notice their posture is slightly slouched and that is a sign of guilt or shame. “Hunching over is retreating into the fetal position—something people do when they feel ashamed or they know they have done something wrong,” body language expert Lillian Glass, Ph.D. says to Oprah Magazine. Even when you notice them rocking back and forth slightly, "it shows they are nervous around you,” she says.
When your partner starts tucking their hands away in their pocket while you're trying to have an open and honest conversation, it's a sign they're also tucking away their emotions — one they don't want to share with you. “When people are showing you their palms it means they’re telling you their truth,” says Traci Brown, according to Cosmopolitan. So when you bring up the topic of infidelity, just keep an eye out for where their hands, especially their palms, are. Closed or hidden palms are something to worry about.
This might be the most obvious sign where a simple yes or no question can tell you whether your partner is lying to you. "If you're asking direct questions like, 'Have you ever cheated on me?' or 'Have you cheated on me recently?' or 'What kind of relationship do you have with Sarah?', you can look for mismatches in the body language and words," says Traci Brown, according to Elite Daily. "For example, if someone answers 'No' as they nod their head yes, that's a good indication of deception," Brown adds.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.