Compromise is an essential factor in relationships. But how do you know when it remains compromise and when it turns into sacrifice?
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on August 6, 2020. It has since been updated.
When it comes to being in a relationship, it's all about give and take. Where before it was all about putting your needs first, now it's about taking care of your partner's needs as well. And so, somehow, in order to make the bond between you two strong, you both compromised on a lot of things. However, in that process, you end up forgetting some of the things that truly mattered to you.
Then at one point, you suddenly remember what it was like before your partner and you crave for those days. Yet, you don't want to give up this connection that you have forged with them. Which is why it is so important that even when making compromises with your partner, neither of you lose out on the priorities that you had before you met each other. And it's these seven things that you shouldn't compromise on which can help actually build a happier relationship with your partner.
Loyalty is one of the most important pillars in a relationship. Without it, resentment, misunderstandings, and anger can build up and burst like a volcanic explosion. Being with a partner who you know is loyal to you the way you are to them can give you a sense of security and safety in the relationship. You both deserve to feel like you are safe with each other. After all, you've managed to stay together this long and that counts for a lot.
At some point, the passion that brought you two together, sort of faded. It isn't completely gone but it has slowly moved to the background of your relationship as priorities changed. But you shouldn't have to compromise on the fun you both had together. It's great to have a routine where both of you are comfortable but it's equally important to do the things that sparked the blaze of passion. Going out for walks or taking an adventurous trip together can go a long way in rekindling those flames.
Often times, in the process of building something solid with your partner, you might end up spending less time with your family and friends. Of course, that bond still remains but the one with your significant other takes precedence. And slowly, the gap between you and your loved ones starts to widen. That is not something you have to let go of. Maintaining a good social circle while spending some time away from your partner can help. After all, absence makes the heart fonder.
When two people have been with each other for a long time, there are bound to be exchanges of heated words and misunderstandings that occur. But it's maintaining the trust despite that that can truly help keep your relationship solid. After all, when you both got together, there was an unspoken promise to have each other's back in good times and in bad. Compromising on that trust can really damage that bond and give way for resentment to settle in.
You had dreams and goals before you met your partner. There was a fire in you to do everything you could to achieve them, even if they didn't always come true. But you have a right to them. However, if your partner isn't supportive of that passion or doesn't want you to follow through, then you might need to reevaluate where you stand with them. A partner who truly loves and respects you will help you in your endeavors the way you'd do for them.
No matter what, you had a healthy respect for yourself before you met your partner and you need to maintain it even after they have been in your life for a long time. If you lose out on that, it's almost like you are losing out on a piece of your identity. You are both independent, strong individuals who have come together to share your life, your joys and grief, and your love. If your partner makes you feel less like yourself instead of making you feel like "you" then you might need to take a step back and see what is important to you.
These values and beliefs of yours were built over the years as you grew into your adulthood. Your experiences made you unique and that is not something anyone can take away from you, not even your partner. If your partner tries to make you bend to their will in terms of opinions, ideas, and values then it could be a sign that they don't see you as an equal in the relationship. Your partner should be able to accept all of you and engage in discussions that can keep both of you mentally engaged and stimulated, even if they have differing opinions.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.