Foreplay is not just some obligation. It will get you both in the mood and ensure that it stays for a long time, building up to the Big O.
Foreplay is not a formality to get done with before the real action begins. It's one of the MOST important parts of sex, but unfortunately, it often gets sidelined.
Spend some time and think about how to pique her interest way before the act actually happens. While sex might be on your mind, what turns her on might not be and maybe it's time you gave some thought to it.
Sex can get tedious and boring fast if you don't keep innovating to keep things new and exciting. "When you touch each other in a familiar way every time, your body becomes desensitized and it won't feel as arousing," Lori Buckley, Ph.D., and a sex therapist in Pasadena, California, tells Cosmopolitan. Fear not, because there are many many things you could do to renew your woman's interest in sex and make the foreplay exciting.
If you don't know what works for her or what more she would like to do, just ask her. She will have a list. “Most women appreciate men who want to make sure they’re satisfied,” Barbara Bartlik, a professor of psychiatry at Cornell University, tells Men's Health. “If she notices you’re working hard to please her, she’ll be more likely to return the favor.” It also gets you brownie points for being a considerate lover.
There are many ways to keep her interested and aroused. If she knows that you know how to mix things up and are good at adding new moves, she will look forward to it. New techniques in stimulation will not go unappreciated by her. Women notice when you make an effort towards making her feel good and are then more likely to reciprocate similarly.
What works could be different for many women, but a good make-out session with tongue play will probably be on most of our list. The tongue is a very sensitive organ so touching tongues could be arousing almost instantly. Add a little bit of neck and ear biting and licking to that, and it's perfect, according to Health.
Foreplay is no magic wand that would get her or you in the mood instantaneously. It needs some patience and more the build-up, the better. The anticipation of the act can be just as exciting as intercourse itself.
The bedroom is great for sex, of course, but try starting outside. Your car, kitchen, garage, any part of the home or outside (just don't get caught!) can be the right launchpad for a good round of sex. "It’s the unexpected that keeps things interesting," sex and relationship coach Claudia Six, Ph.D. tells Glamour. You could head to the bedroom later or finish what you started right there. Keep an open mind, that's all.
Some people like talking dirty, some don't. When you're setting the mood, avoid “weird, clichéd phrases [that] can cause the mood to die quickly,” April Masini of AskApril.com tells Men's Health. Dirty talking should be kept simple and personal. For instance, talk about how sexy you think a particular body part is. You can narrate a fantasy you have that includes her. "Then again, don't zip your lips altogether. “Women want mental stimulation,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First.
Broaden how you think about sex and foreplay. It doesn't need to be limited to the nights or the bedroom. Send sexy texts, steal kisses while doing errands or just do something unexpected in the back of a cab. The point is to tease her throughout the day so that she only has you on the mind.
The body is full of erogenous zones like thighs, hands, and neck. The genitals and breasts are the obvious ones but go beyond those. “Genitals are fascinating and fun, but try to spend some time focusing on your partner’s entire body instead of going straight for her crotch,” Cassie Fuller, co-founder of Baltimore sex-ed company Touch Of Flavor, tells Men's Health. “Try caressing, licking, or nibbling other erogenous zones, such as her neck, back, ears, belly, or wrists.”