The distance you felt between you and your partner could be because of the lack of basic emotional intimacy between the two of you.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on July 28, 2020, It has since been updated.
What is intimacy? It is both the physical and emotional closeness between human beings. We come across so many couples who might have both in abundance and honestly, we sometimes tend to be jealous. The main reason for such a feeling is because most of us lack either one of them. We tend to ignore the signs of the lacking chemistry and intimacy between us and our partners and thus the initial spark is lost somewhere along the way.
According to Psychology Today, real intimacy is more than what is shown physically. It is the feeling of empowerment, trust, openness, self-awareness, courage, and a lot more. All of these emotions together help build a strong relationship which in turn makes the physical intimacy stronger. But sometimes as years go by our partners get too comfortable with us, and tend to ignore our needs. This results in the crumbling of a once-strong relationship.
Here are 8 simple signs to observe that could tell us if the magic you once felt is still the same or not.
Ever felt that you can't quite figure out why your partner seems lost in his own thoughts? It could be because they are disconnected from you. This could cause a problem when it comes to resolving conflicts. The communication gap can give rise to unwanted doubts and suspicions which can make even small problems into a mountain. This can also give rise to increasing dissatisfaction and complaints which again, are not sorted out because of the impending silence.
The once-regular Sunday brunches with the family and kids have changed to quick dinners and sitting in front of the television until one falls asleep. Though you might be spending time with your partner, the lack of emotional connection makes it useless. What good is a movie if you can't share a laugh or cry at the same time? It feels like the previous "one body, one soul" has become two individuals who just share the same space to live.
Lack of transparency in a relationship can also lead to problems. When your partner stops sharing his emotions and feelings with you, it means that the once strong ground has been cracked open by doubts and secrets. This could lead to stonewalling, which could be harmful to the family in case of conflict because resolving a problem would be difficult since communication is a two-way street.
Sharing secrets, ideas, points of view and opinions aren't the only things that build a strong emotional intimacy. It also includes the art of listening. If your partner doesn't show enough empathy or compassion when you share what you feel, it could be a positive sign of ignorance, according to Love To Pivot. He might start forgetting the little details of what you shared with him, maybe just a minute ago. Why? Simple, because he wasn't listening.
Your partner might not ask for your opinions anymore or your advice. Do not be shocked, it could be because you both have drifted apart emotionally. Not depending on your significant other is totally fine but the relationship should be open enough for partners to walk up to each other and ask for help or opinions. Once that stops, it's always better to open the conversation on the table and have a heart-to-heart talk.
There may be times when you both sit together to discuss how the day went for the both of you and your partner reveals nothing, just an "it was fine" or "it was the same" while you go on. There might be chances that there is less to no eye-contact too. This is a sign that your partner is not letting you in, according to Hauterfly.
Physical intimacy is not just sexual intimacy. It also includes holding hands, hugging, kissing, anything that conveys the love and relationship that you share with your partner. But as a relationship gets older, all of this starts to slowly fade. This could be because emotional intimacy is at its lowest, and a strong emotional connection always helps with the physical connection. Your partner should not be ashamed of showing it off to the world that the relationship that you two share is beyond the stinging glances and opinions of the world.
Lack of emotional intimacy can also lead to distrust. The silent treatment by your partner, the reducing time spent with each other, the ignorance, all of this can lead to doubts which could be just us getting our guards up. Forgiveness could seem far fetched for the smallest of mistakes.
These signs could help you pinpoint the things that you and your partner might be feeling or experiencing. These are the things that all couples face once in a while so you need not think that your relationship is doomed. Recognizing the area that your partner lacks in can surely assist you in helping your partner overcome them and reviving your relationship.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.
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