No relationship will ever just be a straight road. It's a rollercoaster of emotions but this time, it might be your partner who's getting off the ride and not telling you about it.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on July 27, 2020. It has since been updated.
Over the years, being with your partner has not always been the smoothest. There have been fights and cold wars but to counter that, there have also been fun memories and moments of intense love to tide both of you over. However, lately, it feels like something is wrong. There's a sense of distance and loneliness penetrating the relationship and you're not completely sure what it is. But one thing is for sure - you can feel him pulling away from you and here's how you can tell:
You used to be able to talk about anything. Whether it was a random topic, about your work day or even something that he said that hurt you, both of you would talk it out. It kept misunderstandings from rotting your relationship. Now though, he shuts you out when you want to talk. Most of the time, he's giving you either the cold shoulder or just responds with monosyllabic answers.
The spark is gone. It's almost as if his lack of interest is the water that doused the flame. Where they be the kisses used to lead to steamy makeout sessions or the sweet ones that you shared just to let each other know how much you care, the kisses now are just customary, much like it's a habit.
Every time you try to spend time with him, he finds a way to avoid it. These days, both of you are left to your own devices - you, reading a book and him watching a game. There's no more interaction between the two of you. "Two ships passing each other on the water" is the phrase that comes to mind.
In the beginning, arguments were heated discussions that somehow always had a resolution, and they only brought you closer. Then slowly, the arguments started to reduce and you might have thought it was good. But it actually might mean that he isn't interested in knowing your opinion anymore. It's as though the relationship isn't worth fighting for.
At the start, you were always introduced to his friends and you would join him for social events. Now, you find that he is meeting those same people and not asking you to join him. Sometimes he doesn't even tell you he's with them.
It hurts to see that you're not the only woman in his eyes any longer. He might think you don't notice, but you've seen the side glances he gives other women, sometimes even women who look much younger.
A brush of fingers along your waist. A hug from the back. A kiss under your ear. These are all things of the past. If anything, you notice him trying to avoid touching. Even if you're sitting on the same couch, both of you are at opposite ends. He makes no attempts to rekindle the flames of desire.
Initially, he would love to hang out with your loved ones. He could be trusted to get help from if they really needed it. He was the one they could talk to about anything. Slowly though, he's been pulling away and now he tries to avoid any interaction with them. You find yourself having to constantly field questions about why he's not with you and you don't know how to explain it.
You wish he could be the same safe haven he was before he started keeping his distance. Any time you want to confront him or just talk to him, he finds a way to change the topic. He no longer shares his feelings with you and he doesn't ask you about yours either.
It's killing you to know that he's not interested in you anymore. But you know that for your own mental health, you have to either try to bring the interest back or to let him go because you deserve better.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.
