"Surely the potential worth of a mum or a dad shouldn’t be based on their body shape?" the adopter questioned.
Have you ever wondered if thin people get away with a lot more in life than fat folks? The thing called "thin privilege" exists for real. It is where people who fit into society's standards of beauty, ideal body weight, and type find things to be easier, than people who are on the heavier end of the scale. No matter how capable they are, they will always have to work much harder than their thin peer for people to take them seriously.
This issue remains the same in various aspects of life and sometimes even when it comes to adoption. One couple who were trying to adopt a baby after their unsuccessful attempts at conceiving for three years were turned away by the agency because they were too fat.
"As far as my wife and I are concerned, it’s down to the way you care for a young person, yet twice now we’ve had our weight brought into question when trying to adopt," the man shared, in an anonymous post for Metro. They chose to look to adopt because they were eventually told that they will never be able to conceive naturally. Being overweight, underweight and obesity can have an impact on women's fertility, however, it doesn't always mean that obese women are incapable of having a child naturally.
After they were refused adoption, they tried their best to get back into their routine, but it felt like something was missing in their lives. So, when they approached the local authority that the author's wife worked for, they were told to look elsewhere, and they suggested: "Barnardo’s, as they were more lenient towards larger people."
"Until that moment, we had never even considered our size, which admittedly is larger than the average as we both fall into the obese category, to be an obstacle in our journey to become parents and was both left shocked and troubled by the comment." Nevertheless, they got in touch with UK's largest adoption agency, and they were happy when they were told they had a good chance, given how they were young and had good jobs.
Ok, for info go to https://t.co/tdv5GHY5IK
— Space Girl 🌙 (@supernova_girlx) February 26, 2020
Then "How do I become an adoptive parent?" drop down and download the Adoption Pack via the link. That goes over everything but specifically pg. 10 discusses weight. It says though;
But, after a meeting with an area manager, they were told they were required to lose weight to be able to adopt. They were told the "medical advisor would reject our application otherwise, as it was important to promote a healthy image to the children we would adopt." When they challenged the agency, they were told it was non-negotiable.
"My wife and I couldn’t help but feel incredibly hurt and upset, as we knew our body shape could and would never impact our ability to parent." The couple was given a target amount to lose first—a stone each, but it put so much pressure on them that it got too much for them to handle. "At times we even considered giving up as it was so hard. But we were determined to do it as we desperately wanted to be parents."
But, once they list weight, things were different for them; it was much easier. They eventually got their child home, and they noticed that their size didn't hinder them from being good parents, like the "thin" people. Four years later, they felt like adopting again, and so they approached the agency and the social worker who helped them adopt their first child again.
Yet again, their weight became an issue. "It felt so hurtful given we were approved adopters and yet it was still an issue." The father also spoke about how them being obese hasn't impacted their child in any manner. "Of course, my wife and I both believe we need to offer the best for our children and that should be a priority to every parent, but surely the potential worth of a mum or a dad shouldn’t be based on their body shape?"
They just believe that being treated with such discrimination, especially when there are so many young children in search of good homes, is just not right. "While I wholeheartedly agree that the needs of the child is the paramount concern and perhaps matching them with a person with life limiting illness could raise questions, it’s simply unnecessary to do so based on someone’s BMI."
References:
https://metro.co.uk/2021/10/23/we-were-turned-down-for-adoption-for-being-overweight-2-15462005/
Cover Image Source (Representative): Getty Images | Juanmonino
