We tend to avoid arguments thinking that it is unhealthy. However, certain arguments are necessary to help your relationship grow.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on July 29, 2019. It has since been updated.
Disagreements and arguments are common in any relationship. But that does not mean that you have an unhealthy relationship. It just means that you and your partner are comfortable opening up to each other's concerns. "Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, and it doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed," says Megan Cannon, licensed clinical social worker and owner of Back to Balance Counseling, LLC, according to Bustle. Therefore conflicts only help partners grow and understand each other's needs. Here are a few arguments that should not be avoided in a healthy relationship.
Relationships not only involve two people but it also brings together two different families who may belong to varied backgrounds and beliefs. It is important for partners to set some boundaries between their relationship and their families. Very often the involvement of families in relationships can lead to unnecessary issues and misunderstanding. Therefore having a conversation regarding this with your partner is crucial to understand your partner's feelings about your family. "Family dynamics, even the most unhealthy, can be normalized since those relationship dynamics are all we’ve known. There is also an innate loyalty with family that can easily cause defensiveness. These two traits coupled together cause quick escalation. Discussions with your partner about their family can help you understand their unwritten family rules," says Steven Reigns, licensed psychotherapist and founder of Therapy For Adults, to Bustle.
When you are in a serious relationship with someone, talking to each other about future plans is a good idea. Whether it is marriage, children, house, knowing each other's wishes will help determine if you both see a viable future together. "Whether or not to have kids and share a family together is an important issue and should be discussed. If this is not discussed or argued, it can develop into resentment in the future. The goal of this argument, as with most other arguments, should be to understand why your partner believes what they do," said Ashley Chambrello, licensed marriage and family therapist.
Sharing a roof with your partner can sometimes be difficult. But it is important to point out your problems to your partner. If you keep noticing that you do all the cleaning chores, you should let him or her know that they need to contribute to making space look clean."If you’re on the cleaner end, and your partner is in the dumpster zone, they may need a reminder that they share a living space with someone else [...] Living with someone is a commitment that involves compromise. It’s helpful to revisit this from time to time," said Cannon.
You have been doing everything you can to make your partner happy. However, you feel that your efforts are being unnoticed by them. This can be heartbreaking. In such cases, it is right to voice your concern."It’s easy to get caught up in the daily hustle and take certain things for granted. Remind your partner that their appreciation and acknowledgment keeps you energized to keep contributing," said Cannon.
It is very common for long term couples to feel a lack of intimacy after a period of time. Partners who find it difficult to be vocal about their dying sexual life often end up being frustrated and irritated with the relationship. Though it is something that can spark an argument, talking about it to your partner will change things for the best. Over time, as the excitement of the new relationship fades, new items are added to the routine and intimacy may lose its place as a top priority. Talk about re-prioritizing the routine," says Cannon.
Hectic work and other commitments can sometimes affect your relationship. Partners might feel that they are no longer a priority and maybe missing quality time with each other. It is always better to speak up if you feel neglected or ignored by your partner. The argument will help your partner realize it and rectify the issue.
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