She was in a relationship that was mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive, but she got out of it after she realised her worth.
To the world, 32-year-old model and television presenter, Ashley Graham might look like she's got it all. She has an amazing career, a baby boy and a loving partner. But it wasn't always like this for her. She had to survive a toxic relationship with her ex-boyfriend and a painful breakup before she was able to find the one man who loved her just the way she was and treated her like a queen. Now happily married to filmmaker Justin Ervin for nine years, she hasn't looked back since.
When speaking to actress Gwyneth Paltrow on her podcast titled Goop, the plus-size model opened up about a relationship in her 20s that was toxic. She recalled dating a "terrible guy" who was "mentally, physically, emotionally abusive." "I hid our relationship for a year, so it was two years of agony, but I had myself in it because I didn't know my worth," Graham explained, according to Fox News, adding that once she got out of the relationship she found her "worth."
"I knew that I was a stronger woman for breaking up with him, and in feeling stronger for breaking up with him I was like, 'What is it that I need to do to change myself so I don't get back into that situation?'" she continued, stating that "in that 'aha' moment, I was like, my problem is I keep giving it up too soon, I keep having sex too soon with these guys." That's when the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover girl decided to wait for marriage to have sex again.
Dealing with her breakup was tough on Graham. She was made to go to church due to a "little issue with some tequila" which led to her showing up at her agency "a little drunk," according to EOnline. "My mom said, 'rehab or church,' and I was like, 'I'm not an alcoholic, so I'll just go to church,'" Graham recalled. What she didn't know at the time was that it was more than a blessing in disguise.
As she was volunteering as an "elevator lady" at church one Sunday, the plus-size model told Paltrow that two men walked into the elevator where one guy said to the other guy, "'If you don't talk to her I am.' I blushed. And the next thing ya know, Justin, my husband, was the one who stayed in the elevator." However, while the sparks were there, they didn't immediately start dating.
They agreed to a coffee date that actually turned Graham away from him. "We had so much fun," she admitted. "But the thing that sucked was he didn't pay for the coffee. So I was like, great, I have another cheap guy... So he didn't pay and he said that 'A man always appreciates it when a woman attempts to grab her wallet.' So I was through with him, girl, I erased his number. Done."
But Cupid wasn't done yet. A mere one month later, the two saw each other again at the church where he asked her out again. Only this time, he offered to pay. "He said, 'I have been taken advantage of and I have had women use me for a steak dinner, I don't want that, I'm looking for a wife," Graham recalled of Ervin's explanation.
They soon became inseparable and were truly in love with each other. According to Cosmopolitan, a year of dating later, they were hypothetically talking about marriage during a show they were filming. Graham teased Erwin, "You're never going to ask me to marry you," but was stunned when he pulled out a ring.
"I honestly thought it was a joke," Graham told Harper's Bazaar. "But it was real life. And then Justin said 'I want to get married in two months.'" Nine years later, the happily married couple are still much in love and have a baby boy together.
As for their secret to such a happy marriage, especially considering their careers and having to work in different states, “We have a rule. We don’t go longer than two weeks without seeing each other,” she told ET Online. “It’s absolutely fabulous. I love it. We just meet in L.A. or New York. We meet in Paris, Miami. It’s pretty sexy."
But Graham has one more piece of advice. The 32-year-old mom told Harper's Bazaar, "If you're not putting your partner first, you're not going to succeed. It's support in every area, making sure that you're not just talking about your career, but you're also talking about their career; it's not just about your emotions but it's about their emotions. Everything is shared, and it's 50/50. And there will be some days where you get all of it, but the next day is all of theirs. You have to figure out what that balance is for both of you."
Well, she seems to have taken her own advice and is extremely happy in her own marriage. Here's to many more years of love to the couple!
References:
https://www.eonline.com/news/987986/ashley-graham-s-love-story-leaves-gwyneth-paltrow-in-tears
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a28211452/ashley-graham-wedding-marriage-advice/
https://www.etonline.com/news/185482_exclusive_ashley_graham_opens_up_about_long_distance_marriage
