When we focus only on the end goal, we forget to enjoy the journey, when it comes to physical intercourse.
People might fear physical intimacy with a partner, old or new, because their body would make strange sounds and sights. However, we forget that our partner might be equally nervous about the experience. Nobody has a perfect body and it might let out a sound or air from an unwanted place without us intending it to happen. Physical intimacy in real life is rarely how the movies and series make it out to be, where everything is perfect and coordinated. In real life, it can be messy. It's nothing to worry or be ashamed about. We can just laugh a little and move on with the act. The best way to do get past the embarrassing moment might be through communication.
Climaxing is not easy for many women, and even for men. If we are with a new or a long-term partner, both or one of the partners may not be able to climax. It can feel like a matter of shame or embarrassment, but it's actually very common. Intercourse isn't just about the climax, but also about intimacy. Channa Bromley, a dating and relationship coach for Relationship Hero with a specialization in sex and empowerment, tells Bustle that "by focusing solely on one desired outcome, you miss the pleasure of the journey."
If we fixate on the climax, it can make people nervous and they could feel pressured to perform. She added that intercourse is not a performance but an experience, something we might forget. "Release any pressure you feel towards reaching" the end and "simply be present," Bromley says. "You can offer your partner reassurance if you feel they are sensitive to their own performance."
This might be the cutest way a session in the sack with your partner can go wrong. If you get interrupted by a pet, who just wants to paw at your door and howl or meow while you're at it, it can distract us easily. It would be stranger if you lock eyes with your pet when you're with your partner during your quality time, as per Elite Daily. These are unexpected kinds of interruptions, including the doorbell ringing right when you're busy. The most awkward this can get is when you forget to lock the door and your child walks in at an inopportune moment. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Deal with the interruption and pick up where you left off.
Our bodies make all sorts of sounds like queefs and farts. "It is not uncommon for gas to be released while [having sex]," Bromley told Bustle. Even with a partner of decades, queef from your vagina during intercourse can bring hot shame to our cheeks. "This can be embarrassing," Bromley says, "but it happens to everyone at some point. No one is going to be grossed out by it." You can laugh it off or offer an apology before continuing forward. After all, a good partner would understand how we feel about this.
Sometimes, whether it's a man or a woman, people just don't feel aroused for intercourse. It's quite a common problem but it might feel like a rejection from the partner if a man loses his erection or a woman isn't able to get wet. Menstruation changes a woman's body and aging also affects men. So, these common problems shouldn't be seen as disinterest in sex.
"Use fingers and toys and add lube until things are how you like them to be again," Cyndi Darnell, a sex coach, relationship therapist, and sexologist, tells Bustle. It is also completely okay to tell our partner if we want to stop or pause the physical intimacy. "No one has perfect sex and no one is 100% comfortable 100% of the time," Darnell says. "That's a myth." People have off days all the time and not feeling aroused isn't an indication of a bad experience.
When women get excited, they get naturally lubricated, and sometimes it drips onto the sheets. We may not be aware of it but it doesn't do us any good to feel ashamed of it. Instead, we should feel pride that our reaction to our partner was intense enough for this tiny little unexpected incident. Just change the sheets once you're done with your quality time or put a towel on top of it, as per Elite Daily.
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