A good and happy relationship requires work from both partners. It is always ideal to switch things up, so give these bedtime rituals a try.
After a long hard day at work, many couples probably spend time scheduling errands, and at the end just crash in bed only to get up again and go through the whole grind. Hardly ever do you get to spend quality time with your partner and are forced to schedule that too. However, making small changes to your bedtime rituals as a couple can make a difference in the level of intimacy in your relationship. There are a number of steps successful couples take to keep making sure that their bond is strong. Happy and strong relationships are based on those smaller steps, in fact.
"It might be the only time all day where you are allowed to be alone, just the two of you. This is a quiet time to connect and be close with each other," psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez told Bustle.
Here are some steps that happy couples take before bedtime to keep their relationship a strong one:
Many people feel that their partners prefer the phone over them. In fact, they feel "phone snubbed," according to a study by Baylor University. In a media release, the results that were shared indicated that almost half the people felt that way. Be kinder and more attentive to your partner and turn off all the electronic devices occupying your attention at night. If you use your phone as an alarm, switch to a proper clock.
"Smartphones distract you from each other and keep you from communicating when you go to sleep and when you wake up," Aaron Anderson, a Colorado-based marriage and family therapist told HuffPost. "You can have distractions everywhere else in the house but not in the bedroom. When you’re in your bedroom together, be together."
You might be brushing your teeth together, but you could make the bedtime grooming sexier by adding a couple's shower. You don't have to do it every day, but showering together at least one night a week can reignite the sparks between you.
"Even if you're a morning person and like to shower to get your day going, it's nice to set just one night a week where you and your partner shower together," NYC-based therapist Kimberly Hershenson told Bustle. "Washing each other builds intimacy and makes you feel pampered," she said.
Unless the two of you have very different bedtimes, you can wait for each other and get in some snuggle time before going to sleep. Sex is a great way to increase intimacy but so is affection and physical touch without sex. Sometimes, the bedtime is the only alone time you have had all day and how you utilize it can help build a better bond or destroy it. Drifting off together can also be an intimate moment in your daily lives, according to MadameNoir.
If you didn't have any time to catch up all day, bedtime is it. It can be about indulging in some playful teasing that reminds you why you were a couple or share your future plans and dreams with each other. It can just be about reminiscing about a fun incident that happened to both of you. As long as you share some positive talk together instead of silently going to sleep without talking, it can build a stronger bond between the two of you.
You don't have to practice yoga to meditate. Simply practicing some breathing exercises is a great way to wind down and when you are joined by your partner in that it can be a way to connect. According to research, Effects of Contemplative Dyads on Engagement and Perceived Social Connectedness Over 9 Months of Mental Training, when two people meditate together it helps them feel closer and makes them more open to others.
When you have been living together for years, the novelty of saying "good night" or "I love you" might wear off but don't stop saying these loving words. They show you care. "These words or actions help you feel connected, feel loved, and help you end your day on a positive note," Hershenson tells Bustle.
References:
https://www.baylor.edu/mediacommunications/news.php?action=story&story=161554
https://madamenoire.com/834423/bedtime-routine-says-relationship/2/
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/article-abstract/2594386
