For Bette Midler, Martin Von Haselberg is a genius and a wonderful man who picked up her slack to raise their daughter.
Many people are lucky to find their true love. Only a few are smart enough to not let them get away. There are a few Hollywood couples who inspire us with their long-lasting love. They are a symbol of hope and show us that true love still exists.
Singer, actress, comedienne, Bette Midler has had it all. A successful career, long marriage, creative performances, exciting social life, and a path not chosen by many. She had one of the most low-key weddings in tinsel town, and the lack of celebrations at the nuptials was not an indication of the foundation of their relationship. The 74-year-old actress married her sweetheart Martin von Haselberg – who is also an actor – in 1984 just six weeks after meeting him. It was at a 2 a.m., $45 ceremony in Las Vegas, according to People magazine.
Together for 36 years, Midler knows she has something "rare" by Hollywood standards. "I think the secret is giving each other a lot of lead and a lot of room and not being in each other’s faces all the time,” The Politician actress said. She believes that it's important to give in from time to time even though it's "very hard." She also explained, "Sometimes you have to say, ‘It’s not worth it. The fight is not worth it. You have your way and maybe next Thursday I’ll have mine.’ Keep supporting each other. That’s hard, too.”
The independent woman, who has been working for five decades, said that for a marriage to not just be long but also satisfying, it is important to listen to each other. "Listening is very hard. And compromise. Compromise is the hardest of all," she added. She also added that it's important to pick your battles. "It's best to pick your fights wisely and just meditate. Stay calm. Don't go from zero to 60 in two seconds. Just stay calm and try to breathe," said she. "Breathing is really important."
Von Haselberg, 71, is a German performance artist, commodities trader, and actor. They have one daughter, Sophie, together. The Hocus Pocus actress said that she and her husband taught their daughter "responsibility and to have patience."
She is a treasure trove of relationship advice apart from being a great entertainer. "Don’t diminish each other. Don’t make each other less. Don’t try to make each other wrong all the time. Don’t blame. Stop assigning blame. The blaming, I think, is the worst part. It’s so [easy to do] because you don’t want to carry the burden yourself. You want to push it onto someone else," she said. "But honestly, you have to learn not to do that," she added.
Her marriage was not without its challenges. In her early 40s, she was under incredible pressure professionally and that strain shifted to her personal life too. They used to fight "bitterly" but they made a decision that saved their marriage. "We came to the conclusion that we wanted to raise a child," she said, according to Closer Weekly. "We never wanted to hurt that kid in any way, and we stayed together until it got better, and it did," she added.
The First Wives Club actress doesn't shy away from talking about how much she appreciates her husband either. "My husband is probably the greatest father who ever lived!" she said in a 2014 interview with People. "He picked up the slack when I was on the road. He taught her a foreign language. He taught her to cook!" she added.
She has a long list of good things about her husband. "My husband is a genius! You know, he could have been one of the greatest actors of all time, but he chose painting and photography … he’s a wonderful man," she said, as per The Daily Telegraph.
It doesn't hurt that he appreciates her just as much. "Well, he doesn’t think I’m boring," she said before adding, "It’s a wonderful marriage. I think he’s a genius and he thinks I’m Auntie Mame. What can I say?"
References:
https://people.com/celebrity/bette-midlers-rules-for-a-successful-hollywood-marriage/
