While David Boreanaz had confessed to his wife and they were coping with it privately, the extortion bid forced them to go public with it.
For many people, cheating is a deal-breaker but some people prefer to give a second chance to their partners so they can fix their ways and do better. The trust may be damaged but together, these couples work on improving their foundation. Not everyone is so lucky to have a partner so patient and they should be grateful for it.
David Boreanaz, 51, who once played the character of Angel and kept the ratings soaring for the TV show Buffy The Vampire Slayer is no angel in real life. He got a show, Angel, all to himself and raised the white flag for Dido's eponymously named music video, but there hasn't been much peace in his personal life. The Bones star, who is married to 41-year-old Jaime Bergman, a former Playboy bunny, met her in 1999.
The couple married in 2001 after dating for less than a year but faced trouble in paradise almost a decade later. They welcomed their first child, Jayden, in 2002, and when she was pregnant with their second child, Bella, he cheated on her.
"I haven’t been faithful to my wife. Our marriage has been tainted with my infidelities," the actor admitted to People Magazine in 2010. "I just want to be open and honest. I was irresponsible," he said. On the outside, their marriage looked perfect but they were battling many problems, which they had to open up about to the public when he encountered an extortion attempt from a former lover.
Boreanaz teared up when opening up about the difficulties. "It’s very difficult for Jaime and me to come forward," said the father-of-two. They had been coping with the issues privately until then.
"I was associated with a woman who I was involved with and had a relationship with. She asked for money," he said without naming the woman. However, he had been linked by tabloids to Rachel Uchitel, one of Tiger Woods' reported mistress. "I felt as though I was being blackmailed or there was some sort of extortion," he said, adding that the woman "was asking for six figures and would go to the media if we didn’t pay. I felt threatened."
Bergman, who stood beside him during these trying times, added, "She believes David loved her, and she’s claiming she didn’t know there were other mistresses involved. She feels entitled to something… It’s not going to work with us."
The Angel star was also quoted as saying that his affair became "a bonding experience, in the long run" for him and his wife. "In a sacred ground like marriage, you find yourself out of it at certain times for reasons unknown that can be destructive," said he, according to E!Online. "There could be a demon that kind of comes out and overtakes you. Do I believe in giving up? No, I don't. I'm a fighter. I'm a lover," he added.
Bergman, then 34, had acknowledged that she wasn't so generous with her understanding when he confessed to her. "David came forward and told me on his own [about the cheating]," said she. "My first reaction was, 'I’m leaving David,'" she said, as per People Magazine. "How could he do this to me, our children, our family? I was totally shocked," she said. However, she realized that "if there’s an ounce of love, we need to work on it for us."
They started going for couples' therapy while he started bi-weekly individual sessions. "We’re working on our marriage and repairing what has been damaged so badly," he said.
The SEAL Team actor said that hiding his extramarital relationships was eating him up. "I found myself hurting on the inside but trying to cover up on the outside, and it was a lie. I was living a lie," he said. He came to the understanding that his actions were caused by "narcissism and arrogance. There was a lot of selfishness."
For Bergman as well, moving on wasn't easy. "There’s anger. There’s hurt. There’s disgust. But there is a love," said she. "For me to walk away from that, I don’t think would be the right thing to do," she added.
Not everyone is blessed with a partner so forgiving and willing to make amends. The couple is still together, 19 years after they got married. In a recent Instagram post, he called his wife "his rock."