According to the man, since his son plays sports he has more chances of employment, and hence shouldn't be made to do chores as compared to the daughter.
No matter where you are, coming home to your family is another feeling. Even if your world is falling apart and there's nowhere you can go, deep in your heart you know that your family will never disappoint you. But can you call a place where you're never treated equally or respected enough, a family? This Reddit story makes you question a lot of things.
A 50-year-old father reached out to fellow Redditors to ask if he was wrong to ask his daughter to do daily chores in exchange for her monthly need for pads and tampons. He is a widower and father to a 17-year-old son and a 15-year-old daughter.
He wrote on Reddit's forum Am I the A**h**e that recently he had to face a bit of a problem with his family because he makes his daughter work and not the son. Giving the reason, he wrote, "I explained it’s because I have to spend extra on my daughter each month not only for her extracurriculars, but for her monthly supplies, so it‘s my way of having her pay me back."
The young girl was asked to scrub toilets, bathrooms, shared living spaces along with cooking four meals a week to earn her basic supplies of menstrual hygiene products. Through all of this, the boy isn't expected to do anything but go on with his day.
According to VT, it was the man's brother who protested against the unfair behavior of the father where he said that the father spends "twice as much on my son's extracurricular" and so the son should be equally responsible for managing the household chore. This didn't sit right with the father and he penned, "I explained he didn’t because I feel his [extracurricular activities] could help him get into college but hers were just a hobby in my opinion."
If his previous comments weren't sexist enough, the man went on to say that his son plays football and baseball whereas the daughter is in a choir and a dance group. So, he feels that the boy has a better chance of making his career.
The father further revealed that the daughter overheard his horrible conversation between him and his brother and started refusing to do the chores. An obvious reaction to unfair treatment in her own house, right? But the father didn't think so. The daughter's refusal made him irritated which led to an argument between the two and the father ended up saying something really outrageous.
"I told her she’d still be doing her chores and life isn’t fair so stop being a brat, or I’d refuse to pay for her extracurricular stuff or pads," he said. Distraught and pissed off by her father's actions and words, the daughter left her home, according to Little Things. He further wrote, "She packed a bag and took off. She’s been staying with my sister who called me an abusive a**h**e when I demanded she send E[the daughter] home."
"My brother and sister are coddling her and I’m furious. N [the son] said I was being an asshole to E and that’s why she left. I’m completely fed up with the whole thing," he added.
So, what do you think? Is he the a**h**e? Not only did he create a divide between his son and daughter with his blatant sexism, but he also refused to see his daughter's talents as more than a "hobby." Threatening to withdraw the supplies of her basic right and need for female hygiene products is the cherry on top.
Even though it's a need, it is still treated as a luxury. According to Reuters, more than one in five women in the U.S with low-incomes have a problem in affording menstrual hygiene products such as tampons and pads. But in this case, even though the father can provide his daughter with the things she needs, he's making her pay back through daily chores.
Fellow Redditors had some words for him as well. One of them wrote, "He’s really combing with a fine-toothed comb to justify treating his daughter like an indentured servant. He’s 'pink taxing' her existence. Threatening to compromise her basic sanitary needs is beyond atrocious and dehumanizing. Lack of access to sanitary products for menstruation is literally a matter of human rights - and ensuring your children have their basic needs taken care of is basic parenting."
Another one commented, "Both kids have extracurricular. Both kids cost you money. It just sounds like your playing favorites and devaluing your own daughter's activities. Your daughter will learn to resent you."
References:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j54k15/aita_for_expecting_my_daughter_to_do_chores/
https://www.littlethings.com/period-chores
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-menstruation-usa-idUSKCN1P42TX
