The holiday season is tough when you've lost someone. All around you are families enjoying being together and here, your grief seems to be never-ending.
It's painful. Losing someone you love can send you into a spiral of heartbreak and open a void in you that somehow can never be filled. Knowing that you can't just pick up the phone and hear their voice, pop by their place and feel like no time has passed or see them every day and lave them with love... the feeling is indescribable and devastating. And this feeling intensifies especially around the holidays because they're not there to join in the laughter, share the comfortable moments and just be there to enjoy the affection.
It makes the entire holiday just feel dull and empty, no matter how many people you're surrounded by. Whether you've lost a partner, a child, a sibling, a friend or a parent, celebrating the holidays just don't feel... right. But as hard as it is, you know in your mind you have to move on. It's just that sometimes, your heart refuses to listen. After all, it's that guilt too. How can you still be breathing and living your life when they're not? And it's in those vulnerable moments that the pain just suddenly hits you, leaving you gasping for breath and with tears in your eyes.
However, things might seem better if you celebrate their life and remember the good times instead. Of course, it's easier said than done but we have to try at least. Especially if you want to be able to survive the holidays. And this is how, with Christmas coming up, you can not only properly mourn your loved one but also smile about the memories you have with them:
As much as it might hurt you and be difficult to move past the pain of their loss, recalling all those sweet memories you have with them can go a long way in making you feel better. Knowing that before they were gone, you had fun and were loved by them, that's what will help you understand that you gave each other's lives meaning.
Though your friends and family might also be grieving their loss, talk to them about it. You'll find that the more you talk about your lost one, the easier the smiles will come because everyone will have their own fun stories to share. Don't be afraid to talk about the time they made faces at random strangers or fell into the snow after dancing. It's those memories that will remind you that they were truly alive.
Flipping through that photo album or your phone gallery might make you want to hold those pictures close to your heart and bawl. But the more you look at them, you might just feel reassured of the good days. And share those memories with other loved ones. After all, they might be physically gone, but they remain alive in your heart. And let those around you hold you as you give in to the grief occasionally.
This might just be the most difficult one. Being unable to follow them into life beyond to make sure they are okay and happy, it can be terrifying. However, have faith that they are happy and at peace wherever they are. That can help you more than you might realize, no matter the pangs in your chest.
Celebrate their life and celebrate your own with them while they were still with you. And remember that there are more of your loved ones who are also cherished the way your lost one was. Time may not heal all your wounds, but love might just possibly achieve that. You deserve it and so do your family and friends. Most of all, your late loved one would have wanted for you to be happy. So live life to your best and love people to respect their death and love for you.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.