The hospital informed the husband that his wife was ready to be discharged, but despite repeated calls, he refused to take her home.
"In sickness and in health" were just mere words for a husband, who not only fussed about taking care of his dying wife but also decided to abandon her while she struggled with one of the most life-threatening diseases.
The husband and wife are parents to three teenage children and ever since the wife was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer, the husband has been feeling like he is the "go to parent" for everything in the house.
"For the past year and a half, I have had to work and then come home and do the majority of the household chores and I was also treated as the nurse," the man wrote on Reddit.
"...A year ago, my wife pretty much stopped being able to do anything for herself," the man went on to say. "She's exceptionally rude to me, and pretty much screams and cries hysterically all the time and sometimes mutters on about people who haven't been in our lives for some time. She also blames me for not being 'kind' to her when I am putting my entire life on hold when I'm at home and I felt like I didn't even have an identity anymore."
Eventually, the husband began talking to doctors about putting his wife in a nursing home and was told that it was a complicated process. He later had a conversation with his father that led to him coming to a cruel decision.
"He told me that from his understanding hospitals if you didn't pick up a patient after discharge three days later the hospital social worker would have to place them into a specialized nursing facility," wrote the husband.
When his wife later had to be rushed to the emergency room, the husband was relieved not to have her in the house and found his respite while she was lying sick in a hospital bed. Later, when he received a call from the hospital saying his wife was ready to be discharged, the man refused to pick her up.
"I told them that I did not want to take care of her anymore," the man said. "The hospital continuously called me back and the person on the other line would beseech me to bring my wife home. However, I stood my ground and said that my wife needed to go to a professional nursing facility and said that the hospital's social workers needed to figure that out."
Shirking off all responsibility of caring for his wife, the man asked Reddit users their opinion on whether he was right or wrong for essentially dumping his wife.
"You are the epitome of selfish," wrote Daytripsinsidecars. "You have put your own happiness above that of your dying wife and your three children. This is the time for a little self sacrifice. Sure you’re not legally required, and sure, I know it’s tough... Your wife will suffer for the last few months of her her life because of you."
Some people addressed the husband's description of how the wife was being "exceptionally rude," saying it was the sickness that was changing her.
"...It’s very common for people who are fighting terminal/chronic illness to turn into hurtful people," wrote doallye. "...People who are dying are in pain and sometimes turn emotional and verbally abusive. It’s sad but they are dying and we are not. It’s part of the emotional and physical toll it takes to be a caretaker... but what he’s doing is wrong. If he continues on with this his kids will probably never forgive him."
Many addressed how caregivers can be driven to extreme exhaustion as dookle14 said, "Caregivers burnout is a real thing and as you’ve experienced, can hit hard. How about asking one of your parents to come help? A sibling? Or perhaps hire a nurse to come and help you out during the day? Find some way to allow yourself to relax... I understand you are burnt out, but throwing your hands up and giving up isn’t the right call here."
References:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kotp4i/aita_for_refusing_to_allow_the_hospital_to/
