I’d Rather Be Alone and Honest Than in a Crowd of People Pleasers

Editor’s note: This article was originally published on August 23, 2019. It has since been updated.

It isn't always easy hearing people call me intimidating or too intense. And they certainly don't like it when I refuse to do things just to please them or have no hesitation in being honest with them. They might think that I'm scared of being on my own and will bow down to their wishes but they couldn't be farther from the truth. It doesn't bother me and here's why I'd rather be honest and alone than in a crowd of people pleasers:

1. I can do without the small talk

All that meaningless chatter that people want to ply me with, I'd rather keep away from it. I prefer deep and more intellectual conversations with my close ones. It's not because I don't care, but I'm uncomfortable with people who hide their real feelings under all the surface-level chatter. How can I be vulnerable with them if they aren't willing to be open with me, especially when I'm willing to wear my own heart on my sleeves?

2. I refuse to back down from something I believe in

I know my values and morals and more importantly, I know what I want. No one can stop me from changing it just because they want me to. But I understand that not everyone can keep up with that. After all, I'm quite used to hearing people tell me that I'm too "intense" or too "strong". At first, I was bothered by it but I didn't make it to this point by "toning it down". I am proud of who I am and I won't lose my individuality because of someone else. 

3. I won't tolerate anyone's excuses

When I say something, I truly mean it, especially after I have thought long and hard before the words leave my mouth. So when someone doesn't give me the same respect, it makes my blood boil. I can't stand it when someone breaks their promises or chooses to be two-faced about their words. I call them out on it, even if they don't like or appreciate my brutal honesty. 

4. I can manage on my own but I will ask for help when I really need it

I've been independent for so long that I can't remember the last time I asked someone else for help. And now it's just in my nature to do everything on my own. But I'm not so stubborn that I can't recognize when I need help. I know that I have the right people around me who will be more than willing to be there for me when I need it. And that's all I truly need. 

5. I know I’m picky about friends but it’s with good reason

Seeing as I can't stand people who prefer to wear a mask, I would rather take my time picking my friends than just chatting it up with any random person. I like to create a relationship with someone who also enjoys having deep conversations and being open with me. I would rather have a close group of friends who know and accept me for who I am than a lot of friends who don't truly care for me. 

6. I value honesty and respect more than anything else

These are two qualities I can never compromise on. I'm not looking for attention from anyone. I want to be treated with the same respect that I give others and I want my close ones to be able to open up to me. Those who do know me know that I wouldn't judge or disrespect others especially when they are truthful. But it's also those same people who know that if they do anything to break my trust, it would be near impossible to earn it again. 

This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.