Jennifer Aniston Opens up About Toxic Trauma and Forgiving Her Mom | “Thank You for Showing Me What Never to Be”

Jennifer Aniston portrays a joyful, contented existence, but this wasn't always the case. Although her mother, Nancy Dow, and her relationship were far from ideal, it taught her a lot about managing her emotions and preventing generational trauma. In a recent cover interview with Allure, the 53-year-old Friends star discussed how she has overcome some difficult obstacles from her background, including a tense relationship with her late mother. “It’s important,” Aniston added. “It’s toxic to have that resentment, that anger. I learned that by watching my mom never let go of it. I remember saying, "Thank you for showing me what never to be." Jennifer Aniston had a difficult relationship with her mother as a child, which affected the way she views life, having children, and motherhood.

In the 1990s, Jennifer Aniston rose to fame as the star of the biggest TV sitcom of the decade and the wife of one of the biggest movie stars in the world.  Even though we spent a lot of time getting to know her, many of the traumatic specifics of her background have gone unaddressed. But they've also helped her get to where she is now, just like the good things that have happened in her life.

Nancy Dow, Aniston's mother, was a model and actress who appeared in The Beverly Hillbillies and The Wild Wild West on television. She experienced two strokes in 2011 and 2012 and passed away in 2016 at the age of 79, according to Goalcast.  She was only nine years old when she was abandoned by a difficult mother. “I think my mom’s divorce really screwed her up,” she said. “Back in that generation it wasn’t like, ‘Go to therapy, talk to somebody. Why don’t you start microdosing?’ You’re going through life and picking up your child with tears on your face and you don’t have any help.”

She also said how her discontentment at home drove her to look for new opportunities. “My house was not a fun house to live in,” she said. “I was thrilled to get out.” The Break-Up actress has opened up about her difficult childhood in the past, telling Interview in 2020 that her household felt “destabilized” and “unsafe,” Aniston said to Allure that in efforts to progress, she had to go through certain emotions from those difficult formative years. She has mostly learned to manage her impulse to constantly be in charge. Yes, Nancy had a temper, which is why Jennifer had a reputation for being "passive-aggressive" for a very long time. "So that’s what I mean about taking the darker things that happen in our lives, the not-so-happy moments, and trying to find places to honor them because of what they have given to us," she continued.

Jennifer gained perspective over time and saw that her mother had always done her best. Her viewpoint was unavoidable, especially in light of the identical upbringing she shared with her own mother. Jennifer said, "She did it because that was what she grew up with", as per TODAY. “I forgave my mom,” said Aniston, who was estranged from her mother for several years. “I forgave my father. I’ve forgiven my family." Jennifer, unlike Nancy, does not harbor resentment. In fact, she strongly believes in forgiving others and giving them another chance. “I feel like I’m coming through a period that was challenging and coming back into the light,” she said. “I have had to do personal work that was long overdue, parts of me that hadn’t healed from the time I was a little kid.” However, to this date, Aniston still refers to herself as a "work in progress", and she is ecstatic for her future endeavors which follow her down the road. 

References:

https://www.today.com/parents/jennifer-aniston-parents-divorce-forgiveness-rcna5657

https://www.goalcast.com/jennifer-aniston-nancy-dow-mother-relationship/

https://www.interviewmagazine.com/culture/jennifer-aniston-cover-story-sandra-bullock-march-2020

https://www.allure.com/story/jennifer-aniston-december-2022-cover-interview

Cover Image Source: Getty Images | Kevin Winter