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Jessica Alba Believes in Respecting Her Kids but Not Treating Them Like Adults Because They Still Need "Guidance" and "Boundaries"
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Jessica Alba Believes in Respecting Her Kids but Not Treating Them Like Adults Because They Still Need "Guidance" and "Boundaries"

The actress is mom to daughters Honor Marie, 12 Haven, 9, and son Hayes, 3, with husband Cash Warren.

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Jessica Alba went from an actress who starred in both popular TV shows and films like Dark Angel and Sin City to becoming a business owner of a brand partially focused on motherhood. Alba is now opening up about how becoming a mother in 2008 to her daughter Honor has changed her life. The 39-year-old actress and co-founder of The Honest Company recently spoke to Romper for its March cover. After the birth of her first child, she decided to take a back seat from acting. Since then she's also become a mom to daughter Haven, 9, and son Hayes, 3, with husband Cash Warren, 42.

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Ever since the birth of her first child, Alba has had no qualms about putting family and her health first. "My mother had cancer at a really young age. Many women in my family have passed from various different cancers, none of them genetic," Alba said, adding she also "grew up with chronic illness." "I had five surgeries before I was 11 years old. I had chronic allergies, and I was hospitalized a lot as a child. I had this real moment of, I want to live, and thrive, and spend as much time with this little person that I'm bringing into the world as possible and stay," she said. "So, my health matters. I want this little person to be healthy. And it's really freaking hard to be happy when you don't have your health."

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The actress didn't mind moving on from work to focusing on motherhood. “My motivation was not like, ‘Am I ever going to get hired again?’ Frankly, I was at the top of my career,” she says. And then, after Honor’s birth, everything changed. “I couldn't go back to what I was doing before and be authentic. I just couldn't. I didn't care about it the same way,” she shared. “It was something bigger. I felt like if I was going to have this platform, then what can I do with it that could be meaningful and make a difference? That just felt so real when I became a mom for the first time.”

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As for motherhood, the mom-of-three believes in being aware and present when she’s with her kids. She offered some wise words that many parents can possibly relate to. An interesting point she brings up is that respect is not the same as being treated like an adult. She elaborated, “I want my kids to feel seen and heard and valued, but I also have to put into consideration that they’re kids and they don’t necessarily have the skill set to be treated like an adult and to make those types of choices, so they still need a lot of guidance, and they still need boundaries.”

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She also highlighted how it's important to pause and reflect before letting emotions run amok when dealing with a confrontation with your children. “I probably should choose my timing better, but I kind of just talk about it in the moment when it’s happening. When they are upset and want to run away and go to their room I’ll let them take that time, and after about 10 minutes it’s not as fire, it’s not as heated. Then we can kind of like talk through it.”

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Although Alba is a public figure, she prefers keeping her private life, well, private.  "I just don't need to use social media as therapy and tell everyone, 'Today I f**ked up as a mom.' It's none of your damn business," she previously told ET Online. "People know enough about me. I make mistakes all the time…and sometimes when I get together with my friends, we’ll reflect on how we’ve made similar good and bad decisions. It’s like ‘Yeah, that was humbling.’ Then you move on and have a glass of wine". The Fantastic Four actress also always makes it a point to be there for her kids and her husband. "I always try to get home from work for bath time and to cuddle the kids before bed. After that, Cash and I have dinner together and talk about our days," she revealed. "I need ‘us’ time all the time.”

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References:

https://www.romper.com/entertainment/jessica-alba-honest-vision

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https://www.romper.com/entertainment/jessica-alba-parenting-advice-video

https://www.etonline.com/jessica-alba-reveals-how-she-makes-us-time-with-husband-cash-warren-98421

Cover Image Source: Getty Images | Photo by Frazer Harrison