"My and my three daughters' lives as we knew it were completely detonated and destroyed by his death. We live in this every. Single. Day."
Losing a child is not really something a mother gets over, and Lisa Marie Presley has been coping with the loss of her son Benjamin Keough ever since he passed away two years ago. He was only 27 at the time of his death, and now, in honor of "National Grief Awareness Day", the 54-year-old singer has written an emotional essay about dealing with loss.
"This is not a comfortable subject for anyone, and it is most unpopular to talk about. This is quite long, potentially triggering and very hard to confront. But if we're going make any progress on the subject, grief has to get talked about. I'm sharing my thoughts in the hopes that somehow, we can change that," she wrote, according to PEOPLE.
She wrote about how death and grief are two equal parts of life and you can't really move on from the loss of a loved one, no matter what people around you say. She then added how grief is extremely lonely. People who shower you with attention the first few days, or weeks after experiencing a loss will go back to their own lives, leaving you to deal with the loss all alone.
"So, if you know someone who lost a loved one, regardless of how long it's been, please call them to see how they are doing. Go visit them, they will really really appreciate it, more than you know," she wrote.
She then wrote about how it feels if the "loss was premature, unnatural, or tragic, you will become a pariah in a sense."
"You can feel stigmatized and perhaps judged in some way as to why the tragic loss took place. This becomes magnetized by a million if you are the parent of a child who passed. No matter how old they were. No matter the circumstances."
The fact that others also judge her for her son's head, irrespective of the fact that she already beats herself up for it doesn't make it easy, she added. But, finding people who have experienced something similar might be comforting, she wrote. "Nothing, absolutely NOTHING takes away the pain, but finding support can sometimes help you feel a little bit less alone."
She then addressed the power it took for her to keep going.
"It's a real choice to keep going, one that I have to make every single day and one that is constantly challenging to say the least ... But I keep going for my girls. I keep going because my son made it very clear in his final moments that taking care of his little sisters and looking out for them were on the forefront of his concerns and his mind. He absolutely adored them and they him."
"My and my three daughters' lives as we knew it were completely detonated and destroyed by his death. We live in this every. Single. Day."
Lisa Marie Presley then mentioned why she really wrote about all of this is to raise some awareness on grief and loss. She said that it was very important to reach out to someone who had experienced loss, to let them know they're not alone in this. "That's how we keep them alive in our hearts, that's how they don't get forgotten, that is what keeps us alive as well. And do me a favor, don't tell them that "you can't imagine" their pain. The truth is, oh yes you can, you just don't want to."
"I know how hard and triggering it is. But maybe let it trigger you to reach out to someone who needs it right now rather than it just triggering something bad."
"Written with all of my love and my pain, most sincerely ~LMP," she concluded the note.
References:
https://people.com/music/lisa-marie-presley-was-destroyed-by-son-benjamins-death-grief-essay/
Cover Image Source: Getty Images | Photo by Jason Merritt
