Mandy Moore has accused her ex-husband of psychological abuse and there were other women who had accused of things much worse.
A strong woman knows how to call out those who have wronged her. She knows how to move on from her past experiences but doesn't forget them. She may learn to forgive but not before learning from those lessons. Actress and singer Mandy Moore is a strong woman who knows what she is worth and speaks out about why her ex-husband's public apology is not the right way to go about it.
Her ex-husband, musician Ryan Adams, had been accused by seven women of abuse in 2018, and Moore accused him of psychological abuse. Initially, he had denied the claims of the seven women and posted a threatening message towards the newspaper, The New York Times, that they were going down for publishing the story. Later, he withdrew that statement and apologized to those he had hurt, "however unintentionally," as per BBC.
I am not a perfect man and I have made many mistakes. To anyone I have ever hurt, however unintentionally, I apologize deeply and unreservedly.
— Ryan Adams (@TheRyanAdams) February 13, 2019
Moore told The New York Times that during their six-year marriage they recorded songs, which he promised to record but never did. Instead, he battered her soul with negativity and ridicule. "He would always tell me, ‘You’re not a real musician, because you don’t play an instrument,'" she said. "His controlling behavior essentially did block my ability to make new connections in the industry during a very pivotal and potentially lucrative time — my entire mid- to late -20s," she said.
The 45-year-old Adams has 16 albums and seven Grammy nominations to his name; however, he used his platform as a musician and the fame that comes with it to prey on women. He helped many female artists get a launchpad but there was a darker secret there. He promised them opportunities in exchange for lurid favors. "Music was a point of control for him," Moore said.
Mandy Moore talks about her ex-husband Ryan Adams’ public apology over the weekend regarding allegations of abuse. pic.twitter.com/MQ8j2nvY2L
— TODAY (@TODAYshow) July 6, 2020
The things he had done came out during the #MeToo movement and now, after a year, he has issued a public apology. "There are no words to express how bad I feel about the ways I've mistreated people throughout my life and career. All I can say is that I'm sorry. It's that simple. This period of isolation and reflection made me realize that I needed to make significant changes in my life. I've gotten past the point where I would be apologizing just for the sake of being let off the hook and I know full well that any apology from me probably won't be accepted by those I've hurt," he wrote for Daily Mail.
"I get that and I also understand that there's no going back. To a lot of people, this will just seem like the same empty bull***t apology that I've always used when I was called out, and all I can say is, this time it is different. Having truly realized the harm that I've caused, it wrecked me, and I'm still reeling from the ripples of the devastating effects that my actions triggered. There is no way to convince people that this time is truly different, but this is the albatross that I deserve to carry with me as a result of my actions," he continued.
"...I made a promise to myself that no matter what it took, I would get to the root of these issues and finally start to fix myself so I could be a better friend, a better partner, and a better man overall... No amount of growth will ever take away the suffering I had caused. I will never be off the hook and I am fully accountable for my harmful behavior and will be for my actions moving forward," he wrote in the article.
But his ex-wife Moore is not convinced since he never tried to apologize to her in person. She cast her doubts on his intentions by pointing this out. "It's challenging because I feel like in many ways I've said all I want to say about him and that situation, but I find it curious that someone would make a public apology, but not do it privately. I am speaking for myself but I have not heard from him, and I am not looking for an apology necessarily, but I do find it curious that someone would do an interview about it without actually making amends privately," she told the TODAY show.
The couple was married between 2009 and 2016. She revealed a heartbreaking truth about her marriage in 2019. "I was living my life for him," the This is Us star, who started dating Adams when she 23, said. "It [was] an entirely unhealthy dynamic. Oh, I had no sense of self. I was imperceptible, I was so small in my own world."
References:
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/13/arts/music/ryan-adams-women-sex.html
