Sex education in schools is often “heteronormative, binary, and generally backward and incomplete”.
To be honest, sex education in schools just covers the basics. Most of the time, it doesn't even delve into details, but there's more to sex-ed than learning about reproductive organs and condoms.
Yes, it is a real problem and a mom and her teenage sons, who realized it was time something was done about it, have started a new ‘First Time Sex Starter Kit’.
According to HuffPost, the kit–which teens can access via the free sex education app Kama–is designed to simplify the concept of sex to those who are considering “doing it” for the first time. So, instead of textbook terms, the language in the app is very similar to the way teens actually talk, and the content not just focuses on the basics, but also discusses topics like pleasure and wellbeing, which are often left out of sex education at school.
Entrepreneur Chloe Macintosh, who is the brainchild behind this amazing concept, says her biggest influence has actually been her two teenage sons, Felix, 16, and Elliott, 14.
In the kit—a 20-part video series—Felix sits down with sex coach Aaron Michael to ask some of the questions teens have about intimacy. They chat about everything, from “dry humping” to “how to use your penis inside”.
The thing is, most people are hesitant to talk about sexual health and intercourse, which is probably why so many accidents occur. At 16, almost everyone wants to explore and the lack of information isn't helping anyone. But Macintosh, who started working on the app during the lockdown, when both her sons were at home, says it helped to create a sex-positive environment.
“There were sex books everywhere, toys, gadgets, we also had to film the app content at my home. So after an initial period of resistance, Felix and Elliott started to become more used to the topic, and speaking about it became more and more normal,” she said.
“Sex was never spoken about when I grew up, it was not really present, and so I found it really interesting to be more open and curious.”
Also in the app, users can find guides on foreplay, self-pleasure, and even tips on overcoming sexual anxiety. The “starter kit” element came about organically, when one evening, Felix was chatting about sex with his 19-year-old cousin, Jules.
"I started to record and a lot of the content came from this conversation," said Macintosh, who hopes the content will fill the gap left by sex education in schools, which she says varies depending on your postcode and is often “heteronormative, binary, and generally backward and incomplete”.
“We never learn how to relate, to create intimacy, to listen, to touch,” she added. “So the content we wanted to put out there is more than some tips to put a condom on, but more relating to the experience and making it as relaxed and comfortable as possible.”
Felix's friends were also a part of creating the kit, as they helped inform some of the discussion topics. They wanted tips on how to initiate sex, how to choose the right partner, what position to start with, how to share and ask for feedback, and what to do if and when things go wrong.
To be fair, talking about sex with their parents or even their teachers can be uncomfortable for teens. But without this, they’re often left clueless and resort to watching porn, which can leave them with an unrealistic view of sex.
Through the kit, Macintosh hopes the app will empower teens by serving them reliable, straightforward advice right to their phones, by cutting out the awkwardness. And, she hopes, with time, there will come a point where everyone gets to a point where they can talk freely about sex.
“The fact that so many teens and young people go through the processes of dating and intimacy without proper guidance is not good enough and can be easily repaired,” she said. “If we remove the taboo and shame from talking about sex, then authentic pleasure can come more naturally. The better our relationships the healthier we are in all aspects of our lives. So it’s worth focusing on.”
Representative Cover Image Source: Getty Images | designer491