She was with me through thick and thin, until she wasn't.
When my relationship of five years came to an end, I was beyond heartbroken. Wads of snot-filled Kleenex and tubs of ice cream were discarded, but I got through the pain, all thanks to my best friend who was with me through it all.
If it wasn't for her, I would have never been able to get myself out of that hole.
Even though we were both in different cities, away at college, she managed to hold my hand via calls and texts. Once the pain became manageable, I told her that I'd be able to live without my ex, but not a day without her. She said she'd always be there for me, and I sought comfort in that.
I had at least one person who would stick with me through thick and thin. After all, we've been each other's pillars of support since the first grade!
It felt liberating to have that someone; she was my sister, and soulmate, and I would do just about anything for her happiness and she assured me time and again I meant the world to her, too.
There was nothing we didn't tell each other. Honestly, we were really dependent on each other, and we never missed an opportunity to get together and just be us against the world.
But then, the calls and the texts started to reduce. Fresh out of college and into a job that I was finding hard to navigate kept me occupied. Whenever she called me, I was busy. There was a deadline I had to meet. At first, she was understanding and sent words of encouragement my way.
I thought she understood, and for a while, she did but I took that for granted. I felt like she would always hold good to the promise we made of never leaving each other despite the situation, but that's not how it works, right?
I never called her back, despite promising her several times, and she probably got tired of waiting for my calls. Honestly, at some point, I was too busy to notice that she wasn't texting or calling me.
This went on for about a year, and in that period, I finally got the hang of things at work. Finally, I had some me-time. That's when I tried to reach out to her but she never responded. To say I felt dejected and heartbroken would be an understatement. She was the only one who got me, so why wasn't she responding?
She never told me she was giving up on me, she just left me, and for someone who thought there's no greater pain than losing a partner, this hit me hard. At first, it was anger, which slowly turned into denial. Then it hit me.
My best friend was gone, and how?
It's been over four years since I last heard from her. The first year was hard, I'd well up at every small thing because we just had way too many memories together. Sure, with time, things seemed easier, but you know, there's still a gaping hole in my chest and I think that will never heal. At least not until I get my best friend back, which I doubt will ever happen in this lifetime.
Nothing can ever explain how I feel without my best friend by my side.
Representative Cover Image Source: Getty Images | AntonioGuillem