"I think it's just a reminder of my own life, with all the changes that are going on in my life," she says, getting emotional.
Little People, Big World star Amy Roloff is adored by her fans because of her sheer courage and ability to stay calm even during the most daunting phases of her life. Right now she is happily engaged to her long-term boyfriend Chris Marek and is waiting to exchange vows with him next year.
However, to reach a phase of happiness and fulfillment, Roloff had to brave through a lot of challenges including her first husband's infidelity and her mom's death. Her 86-year-old mom, Patricia Knight passed away last year in September and that left her distraught. At the time, Amy, 55, said in a statement, "I am so sad about my mom's passing but comforted by all the memories I have and that she lived a happy, long life with my father."
Recently, PEOPLE got an exclusive sneak peek into a recent episode of the TLC reality series where Amy reflects on her mother's passing, sharing, "I got hit with some really sad news: My mom passed away."
"It came on a little bit sudden, so I need to fly out to Michigan to be with my family and attend her memorial service," she explains. "My mom was 86 and she passed before my parents celebrated their 67th wedding anniversary and you know, she was just having some health issues. Eventually, they found out that it was her heart. So her heart was starting to give up."
"I want to go to Michigan about three days prior to the memorial service, so I'm going to leave right after the prom," continues Roloff and adds, "I'll definitely be missing pumpkin season."
But her sole relief from an otherwise grim incident was that before her passing she was able to spend some quality time with her and their entire family. "Last summer was probably one of the best vacations I have ever had because all of my kids were there. My grandkids were there and I was very, very happy that my mom got to see her great-grandkids, which she always wanted," Roloff recalls. "She always wanted to brag, like all of her other friends, that, 'Yeah, I got to see my great-grandkids and I have them.'"
Like any other adult kid who could never stop needing their mother, Roloff says she wishes she could have gotten more time with her in her adult years. "Do I wish I had more time with her as an adult? Yeah, I do," says Amy. "I wish she could've seen my kids and her grandkids and her great-grandkids a little more often."
She broke down in tears as she said that her mother's loss has made her reflect on her own life.
"I think it's just a reminder of my own life, with all the changes that are going on in my life," she says, getting emotional. "It was just a lot."
Roloff, who got engaged to Chris Marek less than two weeks before her mother's death, admits that she's experiencing "a lot of conflicting emotions." "And, you know, a lot of them are happy, that's the whole thing," she says. "A lot of them are happy, so it's hard to grieve one moment and then be happy the next."
“I am so sad about my mom’s passing but comforted by all the memories I have and that she lived a happy, long life with my father,” Roloff said in an exclusive statement to PEOPLE back in September 2019. “She was a great mom. Thank you for all the condolences and well wishes. Life is a gift, appreciate the moments in each day.”
Now that she is ready to start a new life with her partner, Chris Marek, we hope she finds love, light, and healing!