Cannon shared that losing his child "has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experience" that he will never get over.
Nick Cannon grew emotional as he penned a heartfelt note to Zen, his 5-month-old son, one year after the newborn died of a brain tumor. Cannon, 42, paid homage to the small boy and expressed his sorrow as a father by posting a carousel of lovely pictures to his Instagram page. "Physically I’m definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I’m broken," Cannon captioned the photos, in which the first image was an adorable black and white photo of Cannon holding his son.
"Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I can’t believe it’s been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred. Such a painful anniversary," he wrote.
Cannon shared that losing his child "has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experience" that he will never be able to move past. He describes the emotions he feels as a "mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily." He continued, "I am far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many questions, but anyone who knows me knows my heart. I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could’ve felt more of that love while he was here on Earth."
Cannon noted that although "it's tough," his spiritual advisors have informed him that difficulties make us stronger. About his hospitalization due to complications from pneumonia, Cannon stated that he remembers asking his followers a few days ago not to waste prayers on him and that he will be okay, but "I can definitely use those prayers right now," he wrote.
"Continue to Peacefully Rest My Son, Zen Scott Cannon. We Love you Eternally," he concluded the post.
Model Alyssa Scott, who is expecting the couple's second child this year, and Cannon share Zen. After they lost their son Zen, Cannon revealed that the couple had to take the hard decision of not treating their son with chemotherapy and seeing him suffer. They instead focussed on making the best of the few days that their precious child had left. But seeing their son struggle was not easy and the parents were broken when they lost their son. "My heart is shattered. I wish I could have done more, spent more time with him, taken more pictures. I wish I could have hugged him longer," Cannon said at the time.
So far, Cannon has fathered ten additional kids with six other mothers. The Masked Singer presenter has three children with DJ Abby De La Rosa; and 11-year-old twins with ex-wife, Mariah Carey. In addition, Cannon and former Miss Arizona USA Brittany Bell are parents to three children together. Bre Tiesi, who starred in Selling Sunset, has a child with Cannon. Additionally, in September 2022, Cannon and photographer LaNisha Cole welcomed their daughter into the world.
References:
https://www.today.com/parents/dads/nick-cannon-sons-death-zen-anniversary-rcna60204
https://www.instagram.com/p/ClySNafLALm/
Cover Image Source: Getty Images | Dia Dipasupil
