The strongest couples are those who understand each other's flaws and still accepts each other for who they are.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on February 27, 2020. It has since been updated.
Every relationship is different; all strong marriages have their own stories. For some, laughter is what bonds them, for others, it might be physical intimacy, communication, or finding common interests. There are many things that can keep a relationship healthy if we are willing to try. But, to have a happy marriage, there are some unwritten rules that couples follow. These are the things that make the foundation of any relationship strong and can become the keys to long-lasting companionship.
Sometimes, it's easier to focus on all that is wrong than all that is right in a relationship. But, in a good relationship, not only should the couple be working on fixing the bumps but also appreciate the good parts of it. Taking joy in everything that is working in a relationship can make it stronger and more joyful. The partners then feel seen and loved when the things they do to show love don't go unnoticed. And focusing on the good parts will put you in the habit of appreciating what you have when you go through a rough patch in the relationship.
Let's be real, there will be many tumultuous times in a partnership, due to external or internal reasons. While staying strong and stable through those phases is great, it is also important to not forget to laugh with each other. Laughter makes us find the things that bring joy to both partners. Whether you love ribbing at each other or find a funny TV show that you both like, when you make time to laugh together, you will remember these memories. Even when things are not at their best, the laughter will remain. You will know what to fight for.
It could be the small things or the big things, whatever suits your style but showing someone even in the littlest ways that they are loved will make their day. When your partner reciprocates, it will fill your heart too. So, don't wait till your partner takes the initiative and instead do something nice for them first. The smile you see on their face is likely to infect you as well. When it's a strong marriage with two partners who are secure in themselves, there is no place for ego. So why wait for the other person to make the first step?
If you want a happy relationship and partner, you might have to learn to put your spouse before other priorities, even your children sometimes. Some experts say that unless there is a strong marriage, there can't be a happy and thriving home for kids. So, it's important to focus on having a good marriage than only being a good parent, according to Fatherly. While it can be a little hard to put into practice, if we keep it in mind, we can even subconsciously be acting towards having a healthy marriage before all else.
Nobody is perfect, not even you. We know that about ourselves and often expect others to accept our flaws and all. However, it can sometimes seem like we have double standards when it comes to others and we show a lot less compassion when accepting others' flaws. When we accept our partners for who they are, they can feel it in their hearts and feel encouraged to work on their shortcomings. Marriage is nothing if not a constant work in progress.
"When we tolerate the behavior, we are still angry, frustrated, and resentful about it,” Kim Olver, founder of The Relationship Center, and author of Secrets of Happy Couples, tells Bustle. "However, when we get to acceptance, all the negativity falls away — there is no frustration, anger, or resentment."
We can become the biggest cheerleaders of our partners. When we celebrate their big moments and achievements and they do the same for us, or even if we celebrate them for being the person they are, they will know how much we care about them. Showing appreciation towards the best part of each other can help a marriage stay strong since the focus is on the positive aspects.
There might be days when the storm clouds are heavy on your relationship. Even on the angriest days when you might feel like you don't want to see each other, remember to be kind. Remember to work through the problems and not call names or swear or insult each other. Resorting to those actions might send your relationship to a place of no return. The harm done might be hard to recover from.
If she forgot to pay the bills or he forgot to fold the laundry, it's not the end of the world. Instead, it could also be an indicator of how stressed your partner is that they forget to do the things that they are usually up to date with. When they have been unable to do everything that was expected of them, let it go because there could be something weighing on their mind. In a good relationship, one partner always knows when to step in when the other falters.
The daily struggles might seem too heavy from time to time, and making ends meet may seem too hard, but don't let those struggles stop you from dreaming together. Whether you see yourself dreaming of a home together or a family together, go after those dreams when both of you are ready. When you stand by each other, you can do so much and climb the hardest mountains together.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.
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