She does count on her family members to make her feel loved and cared but nothing could fill the void that her iconic father left in her life.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on January 2, 2020. It has since been updated.
While Michael Jackson's personal life was a fiercely protected part of his life, details started making their way to the public domain after his sad demise. Some of them are good and some of them are controversial. But the one thing that his admirers found heart-wrenching was his children's pain of losing their doting father. He was fiercely protective of them and kept them hidden away from the prying eyes of the world for as long as he could.
Much later in her life, his daughter Paris Jackson opened up about how she could never cope with the reality of her life. Her interviews about the legendary MJ are reminiscent of her first public appearance ever where she had tearfully expressed what her father meant to her. Until Jackson's demise, his children's identities were protected, given the controversial image he had. But the first time Paris was revealed to the world at his memorial, the 11-year-old stood up on stage with her siblings and made the world cry with her.
Overwhelmed with emotions, she said, "Ever since I am born, daddy has been the best father you can imagine."
When she was just 14 years old, she told Glamour magazine, "I love my dad, and I'm proud to be his daughter. just don't think the title 'MJ's daughter' fits me." The absence of a father in her life took a toll on her and she developed serious self-esteem issues. At an impressionable age, she struggled to fight back the thought of not having a parent. Time made her grim; she stopped celebrating her birthdays and became overly sensitive. But she did count on her family members to make her feel at home.
However, this proved to be a long and tough fight. Life moved on but Paris did not seem to move on with time. MJ's mother, Katherine tried to give her and her brothers Prince and Michael Jr., a normal upbringing but she could not get over the pain of losing her father. On several occasions, Paris has recalled the memories of her father in the most heartfelt ways.
Michael's former personal chef, Kai Chase opened up about the emotional trauma faced by the King of Pop's daughter. "Paris hasn't had any birthdays since. She hasn't wanted to celebrate since. Being daddy's little girl, Paris is devastated. She's devastated and lost. She's trying to find herself and find who she is. It's taking a lot of love and understanding to keep her together. She breaks down, she cries, she talks about him," said Kai according to Entertainment.ie.
Her need for a role model to guide her sought her to seek comfort from her mother. Although Debbie, her mother, and Paris did not have the usual mother-daughter relationship he reached out to her. But even then the void created in her life by the loss of her father did not fade away. When she was 18, she'd opened up about not being able to move on in life after her father left the world.
She told Hello! magazine in 2017, "They always say, 'Time heals,'" she said. "But it really doesn't. You just get used to it. I live life with the mentality of 'OK, I lost the only thing that has ever been important to me.'" She also asserted that life might take cruel turns in the future but nothing would be as painful as being rendered fatherless. "So going forward, anything bad that happens can't be nearly as bad as what happened before. So I can handle it," she said.
Gradually, she started getting used to the void and started feeling him within her. “I feel him with me all the time,” admitted Paris. She went on to become a movie star and a successful model and that, she believes, is because of the confidence her father had shown in her. "If you wanna be bigger than me, you can. If you don't want to be at all, you can. But I just want you to be happy."
She now lives with the memories of her father but one can't deny that pain such as hers will never leave one's heart.
References:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzP0HcftrVY
https://www.glamour.com/story/paris-jackson-says-the-title-o
Cover Image Source: Getty Images
