She had once revealed that she will never get over the pain of losing her father so she has gotten used to the void his demise caused.
In an interview with HELLO! in 2017, Paris Jackson revealed that she will never get over the pain of losing her father. "They always say, 'Time heals,'". But it really doesn't. You just get used to it. I live life with the mentality of 'OK, I lost the only thing that has ever been important to me.'"
While this may sound brave, living with a lingering empty feeling is nothing short of living a nightmare every day. Losing a parent indeed leaves a long-lasting impact on the mind and heart but when you realize that this impact is here to stay your personality starts to change bit by bit. You might feel that you are OK but somewhere in your heart, you know that you are really not!
A similar thing happened with singer and actor Paris Jackson who although felt that she has learned to live with the pain, kept becoming grimmer gradually.
The absence of her father took a toll on her mental health and she started developing self-esteem issues. She also stopped celebrating her birthday and became overly sensitive. Jackson's former personal chef, Kai Chase opened up about the emotional trauma faced by the 22-year-old. "Paris hasn't had any birthdays since. She hasn't wanted to celebrate since. Being daddy's little girl, Paris is devastated. She's devastated and lost. She's trying to find herself and find who she is. It's taking a lot of love and understanding to keep her together. She breaks down, she cries, she talks about him," said Kai Chase according to Entertainment.ie.
Although she does count on her family members, mother Debbie, grandmother, Katherine, and her siblings, to make her feel loved, that could not fill the vacuum in her life. She had lost the one person who instilled a sense of security in her. Another probable reason why the void left in her life by her father could never be filled is, she is exactly like her iconic father MJ, says her older sibling Prince. “Basically, as a person, she is who my dad is,” Rolling Stone quotes her older brother, Prince Michael Jackson. “The only thing that’s different would be her age and her gender.” Paris is similar to Michael, he adds, “in all of her strengths, and almost all of her weaknesses as well. She’s very passionate. She is very emotional to the point where she can let emotion cloud her judgment.”
And one can assume that she gets all the passion from her dad's lessons for her. According to HELLO! she recalled him saying, "If you wanna be bigger than me, you can. If you don't want to be at all, you can. But I just want you to be happy."
Therefore, it probably is impossible to come to terms with such a cruel reality. So she started living her own reality. “I feel him with me all the time,” admitted Paris. This statement of hers is reminiscent of her first-ever public appearance at the age of 11 for his father's funeral where she broke down in tears and said, "Ever since I am born, daddy has been the best father you can imagine."
She then grew up to be a successful actor and singer with some hits like Dragonfly and Rescue Me. And that's probably because her father had shown faith in her.
But if her Instagram photos are anything to go by, even success has not been able to reduce her pain of being a fatherless child. On several occasions, Paris has recalled the memories of her father in the most heartfelt ways. "So it's been 6 years & every day has been hell without you. i miss you more than anything, tickle bunny. hope you're hearing all of my prayers from up there... i love you to infinity & beyond," she captioned this photo posted in 2015.
One can't even begin to imagine what she must have gone through and is going through being rendered almost alone at such a young age. Plus working in a demanding and highly scrutinized industry could also be a contributing factor to stress and also loneliness. But Paris has shown incredible strength and perseverance, to that was say Kudos!