Some partners become knights when their loved ones are in trouble while some shrug it off and are disinterested in showing up for them. Their reaction is a reflection of where your relationship stands.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on August 27, 2019. It has since been updated.
Not all partners are gentlemen who want to help their partner when they are going through a crisis situation. However, some men can become a knight in shining armor but they are rare. Empathetic partners will feel your pain and help in any way they can. But, the amount of help your partner offers you also shows the nature of your relationship. Whether they start avoiding you or want to be a part of finding the solution shows how bad or good your relationship's health is.
Here are some things a partner might do when you're in a crisis that speaks volumes about them and your relationship:
If you have a partner who wants to be part of your journey each and every step of the way, you're in an equal partnership. They are not trying to shift the focus from you but making the problem their own is what a person who thinks your problem is their problem would do. They see you as a major part of your life and know that what affects you affects them. So, they would actively try to find a solution that both of you, together, can be a part of.
A partner that lets you handle the problem until you ask for help likes to give you space. There is respect and independence in this relationship. Your partner thinks you are a strong person capable of coping with problems on your own. They see you as a force of nature and will step in only when required.
If you're with someone focused on themselves at all times, even when you tell them about your struggles, it is a sign that your partner is not good in crisis situations. This can also indicate a relationship built on shaky grounds since there is teamwork here. This is also a sign of a toxic relationship since they want you to center your attention on them always. You could be in a relationship with a narcissistic individual.
If you have a partner on your hands who promises to be there but goes AWOL, you could be with someone who is emotionally unavailable. Your relationship might be very one-sided where you pour in love and devotion and get nothing in return. Not every relationship is built equally. However, when your partner is MIA in times of need despite saying he will be there, you could be with someone unreliable.
If he doesn't help even when you go out on a limb and show your vulnerable side, your relationship isn't in a great place. They have checked out and are too self-centered to empathize. They would make up excuses and lie, to get out of being the shoulder you can lean on. If you ask for accountability in the relationship, they are likely to turn the blame on you instead.
If your partner lends an ear to your problems and gives advice without you asking, he cares for you. While the relationship is an affectionate one, it could be at a nascent stage. This might be a new relationship or in case of a long-term relationship, it may be stuck at this stage. It also depends on what the problem is. Sometimes, he can only give advice without being an active part of it. In that case, you have a supportive relationship where you can lean on your partner in times of need.
Disclaimer: This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.