It's nice to have a partner to rely on to share love and respect with. But in order to have a healthy relationship, there are some things you need to take care of individually first.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on March 20, 2020. It has since been updated.
When it comes to a relationship, "it takes two to tango," as they say. To make the bond between you and your partner strong, it requires the efforts of both of you. But as much as your relationship is dependent on mutual commitment, love, and respect, there are some things that you need to do on your own in order to make it unbreakable. And here are those four things:
At the end of the day, we are our own person with ideas, values, dreams, and traits. And you need to be aware of yourself in order to be able to put your best self in front of your partner. Whether it's what you hope to get out of the relationship or what you can't tolerate, it'll help you understand what kind of partner you want. This self-awareness could ensure that you don't settle for less than you deserve and the right person will understand that. Of course, your relationship with them might hit a rough patch, but knowing yourself can help you identify how to solve the issues as long as they are willing to reciprocate.
It's extremely cliche and very easy to say, true. How can one just suddenly get rid of all the insecurities, doubts and traits that have kept us from accepting and loving ourselves? However, it's only once you love yourself that you can truly love your partner. When you don't, you might end up being dependent on your partner to show you affection and if they leave, it could make you fear being abandoned or engaging in intimacy. Couples who are strong are able to love each other because they love themselves first and can see the unique value and beauty of each other without the fear of external factors forcing them apart. So take the time to love yourself. It might not be easy because there are so many things to unlearn and you'll have to have faith in yourself, but give yourself that chance.
When you're in a relationship, there might be a tendency to compare your past to your present. This can lead to issues because your partner might feel like they aren't able to keep up with your ideals. So empty your past. Find the closure that you desire. Past emotions could spring up at you and make you lose focus, but if you're with the person you know in your heart is right for you, you'll be able to move beyond it and close the chapter on that part of your life. Talk to your partner if you feel like they can help and do the same for them. Heal each other's souls and live in the present. That's how you can become each other's strengths and happiness.
Much like how getting to know yourself is important in a relationship, also knowing what you contribute to it can help make a healthy relationship. Whether negative or positive, being able to identify how our traits influence the relationship might help you overcome problems that arise. Just ask yourself, "Is there anything that I would have done better or differently if I'm honest with myself?" If you find yourself saying yes to this question, then working towards making things right can do a lot for your relationship.
But again, doing these things isn't easy. There are factors that are out of your control that can affect your relationship and that's okay. It might take some time to figure out just what you want for yourself and then implement it into your relationship. However, you can't be the only one making this effort in maintaining the connection you have with your partner. They too have to show that they are dedicated to you and that their love for you is genuine by taking on these tasks. You deserve that.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.
