Meghan Markle revealed that she considered ending her life, just like Princess Diana, when she was a senior member of the royal family.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, opened up to Oprah Winfrey about their lives as senior royals. In the bombshell interview, the couple has revealed their struggles with mental health and their relationships with the various members of the royal family.
One of the biggest revelations was that their son Archie Mountbatten-Windsor is going to have a little sister soon! In the Oprah with Meghan and Harry: A CBS Primetime Special, Markle said that when they were expecting their son, there were "concerns" in the royal family about the child's skin color. By then, they didn't even know the sex of the child, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The former Suits actress is biracial and the family's queries were likely influenced by that.
Markle and Harry were also told that their child won't be receiving a royal title nor security, which was a break from tradition. "We were very scared having to offer up our baby, knowing they weren't going to be kept safe," she said. "In those months when I was pregnant, all around the same time...we have in tandem the conversation of [whether] he won't be given security, he's not going to be given a title. And also, concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he's born."
However, the Duchess didn't reveal who asked about the color of the baby's skin since it would be "damaging to them." The former senior royals didn't hold back in their interview and the Duchess revealed that under the intense pressure she was living in, she had thoughts of suicide. However, when she needed help, she was told by the institution that it wasn't possible.
"I realize that it was all happening because I was breathing," Markle told Winfrey. "I was really ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to admit it to Harry because I know how much loss he suffered, I knew that if I didn't say it. I just didn't want to be alive anymore. That was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought," she said.
Just popping by to tell all the people who say that Meghan Markle was lying about being suicidal that you are an absolute disgrace. And you also know nothing at all.— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) March 8, 2021
She further added, "I couldn't call an Uber from the palace, you couldn't just go." When she became a member of the royal family, she had to give them her keys, passport, and her license. Right after revealing her suicidal thoughts to her husband, she still had to make an appearance at Royal Albert Hall. "Right before we had to leave for that, I had a conversation with Harry that I don't want to be alive anymore. These are the thoughts I'm having in the middle of the night, I'm scared, this is very real... I remember how he just cradled me," she said.
Harry revealed that the royal family just didn't want to support his wife in her darkest moments because "it was not a conversation to be had." They were also worried about their child's safety, who won't be given security. Harry, who has faced his mom's death because of similar reasons, didn't want a repeat of the same situation in his life.
Meghan Markle reveals she did not receive any guidance from the Royal Family prior to her televised wedding & had to teach herself the British National Anthem, among other things.#OprahMeghanHarry— Alexander Umeakubuike ✊🏿 (@AUmeakubuike) March 8, 2021
"I came to understand not only was I not being protected, but that they were willing to lie to protect other members of the family, but they weren't willing to tell the truth to protect me and my husband," said Markle, according to Entertainment Weekly. She clarified that the institution refers to the "people running the institution" like the palace staffers, but there were some blurry lines. Markle emphasized that Queen Elizabeth II "has always been wonderful to me." She shared an anecdote of how the Queen offered to share her blanket for warmth when they shared a car.
However, Prince Harry revealed that he stepped away from the position of a senior royal because his family wasn't willing to offer support when they asked for it. He further added that he didn't blindside his family but the process was underway for weeks. However, his father, Prince Charles, the future King, "stopped answering my calls." He said that he had put in writing his decision, including the date of their announcement, for his father and grandmother to see.
"It takes so much courage to admit you need help." This is powerful, from Meghan Markle. And a reminder: the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)— Hallie Jackson (@HallieJackson) March 8, 2021
"I didn't see a way out," Harry explained. "I was trapped but I didn't know I was trapped. Trapped within the system like the rest of the family. My father and my brother are trapped. They don't get to leave and I have huge compassion for that."
The couple has been much happier since moving to California, nurturing their small family of three (to be four soon) and two dogs away from the limelight.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Cover image source: Getty Images | Photos by (L) WPA Pool / Pool, (R) Stephen Pond / Stringer