For way too long, you've been too strong for everyone around you. But every day chips away a little bit of your emotional resilience.
You are a source of strength for others, you’re the glue that keeps your family together, and you always know the right thing to say when someone comes to you for help. You’re always carrying the weight of others on your shoulder, but when it comes to your own needs, you don’t pay the same attention. As you cross milestones in your life and make lives easier for the people around you, you forget to listen to the inner-voice inside you, telling you to stop and take a break. You continue to push yourself to the point of exhaustion, and that still doesn’t stop you. Here’s why strong women are emotionally exhausted:
The people that everyone you know counts on is you. There might be so many shoes for you to fill in a day – a sister, a mother, a colleague, a daughter, a friend, a neighbor and maybe even the stranger who offers a helping hand to someone desperately in need. Despite being so many things for so many people, you always try your best to give everyone your undivided attention. But the only person you forget to attend to is yourself. You allow yourself to get lost in all the relationships you have with others, but you let the relationship with yourself take a backseat.
While you make sure you’re kind and compassionate to everyone around you, you only trust few. There might have been times when your kindness was taken for granted, or someone misjudged you and took it as a sign of weakness. And those were the lessons that taught you not to trust everyone around you. You don’t want to waste your time and effort on people who want to use you for their selfish needs, because you know you have a lot to bring to the table. But sometimes you let that get in the way of truly letting people in on your feelings. While you easily relate to people, they are unable to see past the strong face you put because you rarely let your guard down in front of people.
You’re always pushing yourself to give your best to your work life as well as your personal life. Perfection anywhere and everywhere is what you strive for. Sometimes this makes you be too hard on yourself. You always believe there’s scope for improvement and this makes you set the bar way too high. Even when somebody gives you a compliment or congratulates you, you might just brush it off and say it was sheer luck. Learn to take compliments because you deserve them, you worked for them. And most importantly, go easy on yourself once in a while. Your children, your partner, and your friends love you just the way you are. And your colleagues are well aware of the value you add to the team. So cut yourself some slack and get rid of the superwoman syndrome.
People always see how efficient and prompt you are. You never miss a deadline, you make sure your children reach soccer practice and music lessons, your presentations at work are on point, and you still manage to plan out something special for your partner every once in a while. You make it look so easy for everyone else, but being on top of your game for every single minute of every single day adds so much pressure on you. The perfectionist in you keeps pushing for so much that you don’t stop to take a break and allow yourself to breathe.
Often, you find that you’re always on the giving end and never on the receiving end. You take pride in being able to handle things on your own and you rarely ask people for help. But sometimes it’s healthy to ask people to pitch in, and they would be happy to do so. When you pile on so much work on yourself, it can hamper your sleep pattern, throw your appetite for a toss and make you feel fatigued. But when you choose to power through it (which is usually what you do), you’re not allowing yourself to give your mind and body the rest it deserves. Take a break just to recharge your emotional and physical health, and you will see just how much better you’re able to perform the next day.
When your best friend calls up, you’re there. When your colleague is going through a messy relationship, you’re her shoulder to cry on. And when somebody just wants to vent, you’re all ready to listen. You soak up everybody else’s pain and allow them to share their burdens with you. But it’s tough when you don’t allow yourself an outlet as well. You too need a way of unloading your stress, rather than allowing it all to build inside you until you feel emotionally drained. Remember that you need to allow yourself to blow off some steam just like anyone else.
There are moments when you feel weak. Sometimes you get out of bed and think ‘I’m lost’ or ‘I’m stuck’. But you smile through your doubts and laugh away your pain. Nobody can tell when you’re having a bad day because you always manage to power through it. Sometimes you think that even if you share your problems with others, they won’t be able to help you out because nobody can help you better than you can. However, remember that sometimes just speaking up about what’s on your mind and having someone to listen is enough to lift the weight off your shoulders. One conversation with your partner or one cup of coffee with your friend about what’s going on in your life can instantly make you forget about your worries.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.
