Sometimes, we settle for bad relationships and partners who don't care about us, even though we know we deserve better.
Editor’s note: This article was originally published on August 19, 2019. It has since been updated.
"Research shows that one of the main reasons people stay in relationships is the fear of being single," relationship expert Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., author of The 30-Day Love Detox tells Women's Health magazine. You're not the only one to feel this way. Sometimes, we settle for bad relationships and partners who don't care about us, even though we know we deserve better, because we don't want to be alone.
However, once we have decided to move on from a toxic relationship, we can't start the journey by dating again immediately. People should take time to work on themselves. So that next time around, when you do decide to date, you will know exactly what you want and what you don't want.
If you want more reasons why being single is better than a bad relationship, here are six:
By settling for a crappy relationship, we are accepting to live in a negative environment. A bad relationship can cause stress and affect other areas of your life. If you have a partner who shows you no respect and doesn't show enough commitment, it is likely to make you frustrated and unhappy. Everyone deserves to be happy and not go through daily conflict with a partner.
There is no pressure to be there for a needy partner and cope with negative emotions. Once, you are out of a bad relationship, some reflection will help you understand what makes you happy in a relationship. You will also know what doesn't make you happy in a relationship.
"You can't assume you know what you want. As life changes, so do we, and so do our priorities, desires, and needs," divorce coach Kira Gould told HuffPost. "Being single in today’s landscape gives us many opportunities to date, and to explore what sorts of qualities we like or dislike in a partner," she says.
You will find enough time to do everything and anything you want, which includes self-care. Whether you want to focus on career growth and learn a new skill, or improve on your emotional and mental and see a therapist, or work on physical health, you can do anything. You wouldn't have to worry about dividing your time for yourself and someone else. All your time and energy can be for yourself.
Since you will have the time to do anything you want, you will be able to catch up with your friends who were probably neglected and ignored until now. Your relationship may have taken the front seat and friends probably even disappeared from the backseat. They were probably not in the car with you. This is a good time to reach out and rebuild your emotional network. You will relearn who you were when you had fun with the people you liked.
You may have thought that you need your partner to take care of you and do things for you, but being single will give you a sense of freedom and independence like never before. There might be an adjustment period that you go through, but once you are past it, it will be a great time ahead. You might even learn to eat by yourself at a restaurant. It can be a liberating experience, some say. Just being able to watch a film on your own or spend time by yourself and take care of yourself is a great thing to have.
You might have a set image of yourself. Dating different kinds of people can help you break out of that and see the very different aspects that they bring out in you.
"After my own divorce, I wasn’t sure what I wanted in a relationship and I dated all sorts of 'wrong' men -- and I have to say, I loved it," divorce coach Kira Gould told HuffPost. "Mind you I wouldn’t enter into a relationship with any of them; I just enjoyed the chance to explore, and 'try them on' so to speak."
It is an exploration of yourself and the kind of people out there.