There is no shame in seeking an expert's help in fixing the important relationships in your life.
Staying at home in isolation, away from our daily lives, has affected many couples over the past year. One of the examples of that is the sheer number of celebrity divorces that took place recently. From Kelly Clarkson, Jana Kramer, to Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lopez, the list is long. Spending enormous amounts of time together might have shown them the mirror about their marriage. Making that decision is hard for everyone, and these individuals would also have tried their best to make it work.
Arguments are a normal part of marriage but when they start happening too often with no resolution in sight, it could be a sign of trouble. There could be more issues that can disrupt a relationship, and a therapist can help with all these challenges. Marriage isn't just about the romantic moments but also the difficult ones, and it's important to find a balance between the two. It might be harder to make efforts and keep a relationship healthy, but it's definitely worth it.
We might believe that we'll be able to solve our issues on our own, but sometimes, seeking help from an expert might be the right thing to do. If you are unsure whether your partner and you should see a marriage counselor, here are six signs that could help you decide:
In any relationship, communication is crucial to keep the ship moving forward. However, if you are scared of bringing up issues, which can be about anything like physical intimacy or money or even our preferences, then a relationship needs work. Are you scared that what you say will be blown out of proportion? In such a situation, a counselor or therapist can help the couple open up about their issues, as per HuffPost. The mental health and relationship professional can aid us to dig deep and understand the source of the problem.
If you constantly worry that your partner is lying to you, and you may have reasons to, then it's likely that you don't trust them anymore. One of the common reasons people seek counseling as a couple is due to infidelity. However, cheating isn't just physical, it comes in many forms. "Hiding something and being secretive is an emotional betrayal," Tracy Ross, a relationship and family therapist in New York City, told AARP. "You might reconnect with an old flame through Facebook and think, We're just catching up; it's harmless. Then, all of a sudden, it's more than that," she added.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Adam Borland writes in Cleveland Clinic's health blog that if there has been a significant life change then that can be a reason to seek therapy. "The birth of a child, the death of a loved one, moving homes, a new job or retirement — these changes have a huge impact on your marriage," he said. These events can have a significant effect on us after all. We may not always be equipped to handle them by ourselves, and it could end up impacting our relationship as well.
When partners hide their finances from each other, it can be as bad as having an affair on the side. In a marriage where one partner isn't honest about their spending or has the need to control all of their money, then there should be a discussion about family finances. When we live with someone and have decided to have a family with them, it is ideal to be committed to following a budget based on income. So, discussions about monthly bills, savings, debt, and other accounts are necessary. If one spouse objects to that, seeking a therapist's intervention might be necessary.
It is good to give and have space in a relationship but if a couple is living like roommates than a married couple, they could be in need of counseling. It doesn't mean that their relationship is in trouble but if there is a lack of intimacy, it could raise issues. It's important to feel connected to our partners instead of just co-existing in the same home. A skilled therapist is likely going to be able to help in that situation.
If your love life is not what you want it to be, and that just puts you off of it, then it could be time for seeking marriage counseling. Doing the same thing in the bedroom for years can be boring and seem like a chore to tick off a list. There can also be medical issues that lead to it, as per AARP. However, intimate gestures like stealing kisses, holding hands, cuddling, etc. can help. If you are completely disinterested in it, seeking a counselor can help. There could be deeper issues at play.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.
References:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/marriage-counseling-_n_5412473
https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/marriage-counseling.html
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/5-signs-you-may-need-marriage-counseling/
Cover image source: Getty Images | Photo by Nick Dolding
