You may have invested years in a relationship before realizing it wasn't going anywhere since you didn't know the signs that a man isn't ready to commit. The sooner you know, the lesser chances of you getting hurt.
There may have been a time in your life when you met someone with whom you were in a relationship that just didn't seem to be going anywhere. Probably, you were the one making all the plans, taking all the initiative, and making more effort to be in their life than them. That person may have made you feel like you were just not their priority. Looking back, you might have figured those out as red flags that the relationship wasn't going to go beyond the superficial level.
But in that moment, when you were deeply in love, you may have been confused more often than not. Later, when you met the right person you would have probably realized what it means to be in a committed relationship. One of the things that could have surprised you would be how clear your partner was about their intentions.
However, if you are still stuck in the previous stage of being confused, here are six things that can help you figure out where the relationship stands:
When you have been together for a while, it is normal to expect to talk about how you visualize your future with your partner. It is expected that you would want to talk about commitment. But, when you are with someone who avoids the "C" word every time, it could be because they don't feel ready for it, says TinyBuddha. It could also mean that they don't see a future with you. They might want to be with you for a short period only and so makes only vague promises, which he can break easily.
In a committed relationship, the two partners are usually in sync and at a similar wavelength. When it comes to major life decisions, it is normal to seek the other person's opinion. While you make that effort to know his, if he's not making similar kinds of effort for you, he's probably not interested in being with you for the long haul. If you see yourself settling down with him and he wants to travel or move bases, with no regard for your convenience or comfort, it's unlikely that he's planning his future with you in mind.
If your partner keeps you and their relationship with their friends and family separate, it could be a major red flag. They don't want to make you a part of their social life and instead could be making only last-minute plans with you as if you are a backup. When they don't make the effort of making you a part of their life at large, they are not planning on seeing you for long. They probably see you as a fling only. When someone is into you, they would want to show you off to their loved ones too, according to Reader's Digest.
All of us have expectations of our partners. While it is unrealistic to expect that they will be able to meet all our needs, it is not fanciful to want them to be supportive of us. We want them to comfort us after a tough day. A kind word and a loving gesture are enough at times. That is all that we want, after all; love and support from them. However, if they can't fulfill those roles in our life the relationship is not likely to last for a long time.
Nobody is perfect. All of us have strengths and weaknesses, and a good partner accepts us as we are. They don't try to change or judge us constantly. You may not have the same interests but that shouldn't be a problem in the relationship. You shouldn't be expected to like the same things as them. If you have disagreements over the major aspects of your life like your career or how you dress, those might be signs for having a serious talk or even leave as these are major red flags, according to Lifehack.
If he changes the topic whenever you want to speak about your life together in the future or about commitment in the long term, it might be because they don't intend to stick around for those plans. It might also be that they are not in the same space as you mentally, which is when you will be forced to choose if you want to go on and see where the relationship goes, or be with someone who wants to build a future with you.