Ted Danson Admits He Was a "Hot Mess" Before He Met His Wife, Mary Steenburgen | Their 25-Year Love Story in Pictures

They would choose each other as a lover every single time and even after 25 years, they're a rock-solid couple.

Source: Getty Images | Photo by (R) Brenda Chase (L) Mike Coppola

By WomenWorking Correspondent

February 16, 2021

Posted February 16, 2021

Actor Ted Danson owes his happiness to one person - his wife, actress Mary Steenburgen. While Hollywood isn't always known for love stories culminating in something long-lasting, there are times when two people from the industry meet and it's instant sparks. And that is the category that these two actors fall under as they've spent nearly three decades of their life together and don't plan on changing that. After all, "It's like heaven on earth," Ted told Us Weekly about his relationship. "If I were to die, I can say, I know what it's like to be loved and to love."

But to understand this insanely strong bond between the two, it's best to start at the beginning.

The couple first properly got to know each other in 1993 on the set of the film Pontiac Moon which happened to be a difficult time for Ted, having just bid farewell to Cheers after 11 seasons. In his personal life too, he had just gone through a costly divorce from his second wife, producer Casey Coates who he shares daughters Kate and Alexis with, and was ending his relationship with Whoopi Goldberg after 18 months of dating. "I was a mess-and-a-half," the actor told AARP The Magazine. "I thought, I'm incapable of being in a relationship. But I was working on myself. Ironic how life works in those moments. Once you throw your arms up and surrender, a lot of times things come your way." And as soon as he did that, his true love walked into his life.

Of course, it wasn't as easy as just immediately dating Mary. At the time, the Parenthood actress was a single mom and battling issues of her own. She had a difficult childhood as her father was quite often in poor health and experiencing several heart attacks. "I spent my childhood waiting for my dad to die," she said. That traumatic childhood experience continued to haunt her and they had "both had sworn off relationships," she said, according to People. "We both said the same phrase to ourselves, which was: 'Obviously we cannot be in a relationship,'" Ted recalled. "I could ruin anything. I'm not relationship material." "I was a hot mess back then," the actor admitted.

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen (Source: Getty Images | Photo by Albert Ortega)

But it was their first date that turned them from friends to lovers. A canoe trip and picnic that The Good Place actor planned in Mendocino, California, sealed the deal. "It was very magical," he said. "We came back in love, to be honest, or I'll say smitten." Two years later, they got married and despite their hectic schedules, they managed to keep their bond fresh and alive. When asked to spill the secret to their happiness, Ted had only one explanation. "I'm married to Mary Steenburgen," he told hosts Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb in September 2017, according to Today.

And even after 25 years together, Ted and Mary are still crazy about each other and have even worked on multiple projects together.

"Creative passion" is how Ted describes their relationship. "I like the way Mary laughs and smiles," he said. "I like her willingness to say yes to leap off tall buildings of life. I love her sense of fairness and right and wrong. And I don't think you're supposed to say this when you're almost 70, but she's very sexy."

Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson (Source: Getty Images | Photo by Ethan Miller)

“[Our love] just gets more profound and deeper as we go through the blessings and joys, but also the hurdles, of life together,” The Happiest Season matriarch told People in the publication's Sexiest Man Alive 2018 issue. “He is my partner in the deepest sense of the word in this life. I would literally sign up for 100 more lifetimes with him."

Nearly three years later, "I want as long as possible in my life with Mary," echoed the 73-year-old father-of-two to People in an interview. "I know it will have all of its hard parts but I want to experience love in all those moments."

Ted Danson & Mary Steenburgen (Source: Getty Images | Photo by Alex Wong)

For Mary, it's all the small gestures her husband makes that has her falling in love with him even more. “He is just kind to me every single day,” she said. “If he has an early call, I try to get up while it’s still dark and make him coffee and send him off and he does the same for me."

"I think it’s those little kindnesses that completely make up our life that are so appreciated. I could care less about things like Valentine’s Day because literally the appreciation for what I do for him and the way he nurtures me as a woman, as an artist, as an actor, as a songwriter and his celebration of who I am makes me free to fly and be who I am,” she continued. “And I hope I do that for him.”

In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, "I'm in love. We're in love. That handles a lot. We make each other laugh. I admire her," the Mr. Mayor star said. "If I could be a woman, I'd want to be her. We delight in each other. And we're pretty disciplined about being celebratory of what we have."

Mary also noted that Ted keeps their romance blazing even after all these years by sweetly complimenting her on a daily basis. "He does tell me every single day of my life I’m beautiful, and I do know a lot of women live without that," she said. "And it does matter, someone just telling you that."