The expert also revealed that breaking away from a bad relationship could be a good and satisfying decision.
While a lot of us are completely sure about our partners and secure in our relationships, many of us do find ourselves asking if our partner is "The One." A relationship is not a one-time investment, you need to keep watering the soil of your bond to make it stronger till you reach a point when the two of you become one.
Having questions about your relationship is not a wrong thing, in fact, it might prove to be a boon for both of you. It might also be instrumental in working on the dysfunctional areas of your relationship if you are in it for the long haul.
More than anything, it will make you aware as to whether you are in the wrong relationship or not.
Gary W Lewandowski, a professor of psychology at Monmouth University and creator of scienceofrelationships.com dished out 15 questions that you can answer to know if your relationship is meant for the long run. He told the Independent that he decided to compile the list because the number one thing he is always asked is: "How do I know if I’m in the right relationship?"
The professor went on to say, "It is probably the question people have the most but are least equipped to answer themselves." He added, "When they try to determine, they don’t always know the right questions to ask and focus on the wrong thing."
"Just because you can find good doesn’t mean it is a good relationship," he warned.
He explained that if you answer "yes" to these questions you are probably in it for a lifetime. But if your answer is mostly "no", that indicates that your relationship might not last forever. However, getting a "no" is not necessarily bad as “staying in a bad relationship is the worst possible thing for you,” according to Lewandowski. So it might be a sign that you should leave before you get hurt.
Lewandowski also added that "learning good stuff about relationships is no threat to good relationships" and "if you're in a mediocre to bad relationship, getting out frees you up to get in a great one".
If you want to learn more about relationships and breakups from Lewandowski, you can watch his informative videos.
Now, let's get right to the questions.
1. Does your partner make you a better person, and do you do the same for them?
2. Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving?
3. Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are, without trying to change each other?
4. When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?
5. Do you and your partner share decision-making, power and influence in the relationship?
6. Is your partner your best friend, and are you theirs?
7. Do you and your partner think more in terms of “we” and “us,” rather than “you” and “I”?
8. Would you and your partner trust each other with the passwords to social media and bank accounts?
9. Do you and your partner have good opinions of each other – without having an overinflated positive view?
10. Do your close friends, as well as your partner’s, think you have a great relationship that will stand the test of time?
11. Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy and controlling behavior?
12. Do you and your partner share the same values when it comes to politics, religion, the importance of marriage, the desire to have kids (or not) and how to parent?
13. Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needs, desires and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?
14. Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities?
15. Are you and your partner sexually compatible?
If your answer is a "yes" to all the questions, you will most likely be with your partner for a lifetime and if it is mostly a "no" it is probably time for you to make some cold calculations and take a tough decision, the results of which might seem to be unbearable, but it would only help you move forward towards a better future.
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Cover image source: Getty Images | Photo by Tim Robberts
