Instead, she shared that every mom needs a "soft rub on the shoulder" and is told that she is doing "a good job."
Tired of people telling parents to "enjoy" their babies and toddlers while they are little, a mother from New Zealand wrote, "I don't need to be told to enjoy this time. I literally put my body on the line to make this dream of mine come true, there is no one more grateful than me for these kids." Hannah Findlay wrote in an Instagram post that she wants this phrase to be "universally" removed. Findlay is a mom to a 4-year-old daughter and a 1-year-old son. She spends most of her time with her children at home.
Findlay said, "We get it. You’ve forgotten all the hard stuff and you miss the softness and smallness of your young kids now yours are grown… but we’re still in it. In those long days and short years. Messy kitchens and full hearts." Instead, she shared that every mom needs a "soft rub on the shoulder" and is told that she is doing "a good job." Hannah further wrote, "I don’t hear that enough. In fact, the soundtrack of my days is usually my inner mean girl questioning my parenting and whether or not I’m messing up my kids because I wasn’t gentle enough today."
Findlay believes that it's fine for moms to have good and bad days with their children. "It wasn't really until I had my son that I kind of realized that it's OK to feel like that. I don't have to feel guilty or feel like I have to enjoy every minute because it actually is just really hard in some moments and I don't think mums give themselves that much permission to just feel both of those feelings," Findlay told Good Morning America.
Findlay pointed out that similar advice is not given for other life experiences. "You know, we don't enjoy life all the time," Findlay said. She explained that anyone who is having a bad time is not advised to "enjoy life all of the time." On the contrary, mothers are constantly given a message that they have to enjoy every moment irrespective of what their reality may be.
Findlay started putting down her thoughts on motherhood when she was "in a really bad place" after the birth of her first child and need something to cope with things she was experiencing for the first time. She said, "I had my baby girl in 2018 and it was quite a rough pregnancy and then I had quite a traumatic birth, which left me with some birth injuries and just a lot of impact on my body that I hadn't really anticipated." However, Findlay now has a community of mothers online who like to share the realities of motherhood. "I honestly don't think I could have done motherhood without this platform in this way of being creative and communicating my experience," she said.
References:
https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/family/story/mom-stop-enjoy-moment-kids-92481904
https://www.instagram.com/hanfindlay/
Cover Image Source: Instagram | HannaH
