Relationship Quiz: The Way Your Partner Responds to You When They're Frustrated Can Reveal a Lot About the Relationship

Editor’s note: This article was originally published on June 18, 2020. It has since been updated.

Everyone gets frustrated and your partner is no exception. Whether it's dealing with a micromanaging boss or handling a difficult family member, there are days your partner comes home to you annoyed and irritable. As a partner, it is natural to be concerned about them and ask them about it. However, it's the way they respond to your concern that truly reveals a lot about them and your relationship.

1. They get mad at you and never apologize

Sure, their anger is understandable. After all, if things weren't going your way or someone was treating you badly, you'd be mad too. However, look out for instances where they may take their anger out on you by shouting or being overtly sarcastic and never apologize. If it is a one-off occurrence, then it might just be best to mention it in passing, so that your partner is aware and avoids it the next time. However, if it happens every time your partner is irritated, then it's an indication that they don't respect your feelings or just take for granted that you are there for them. You may need to have an in-depth discussion about your hurt feelings with your partner and how it affects your relationship.

2. They are harsh in the moment but apologize after a while

Sometimes, harsh words spill over when your partner is frustrated. But after a while, they apologize to you with sweet words of consolation. Again, if it is a one-time event, then it's better to be honest with them about how you felt and show them that you understand their anger. However, if they do it frequently, it could indicate that your partner, though they may love you, might not know how to express themselves well. It is an indication that they get easily carried away by their emotions in that moment. Also, it could mean that they aren't comfortable being open with you but they do understand that you might feel hurt and want to fix that.

3. They openly tell you they're in a bad mood and will discuss with you later

If your partner comes home and informs you that they're not in a mood to talk but will talk about it later, it's a sign they respect and love you. It is just that they need their time alone to sort it out. They don't want to say anything they might regret and hurt you. The fact that they tell you that they will speak to you about it later shows that they value communication and will be open with you once their anger and frustration fade away. They place a lot of trust in you to understand why they need that space and to accept everything they're saying without judgment. Depending on how your partner is, the time they take to cool down is different, but all you require is patience. 

4. They will be quiet and stay away until they're over it, but refuse to talk about it

The last thing they want to do is cause you pain, so when they're frustrated and ready to say anything that comes into their mind, they tend to stay away. When they do that, it's an indication that they value your feelings a lot, even if they're not the best at expressing it. They know that you'll wait for them. Any time that you go to them and tell them "I'm here for you", it reminds them that you prioritize them and aren't the type to dismiss their feelings. Yet, they might not be open to discussing it with you, indicating that they don't trust you for some reason. This lack of trust might mean that your partner feels a bit disconnected from you. It is best to have a conversation with them about this and sort it out.

5. They talk to you about it and expect you to just listen

If your partner immediately discusses with you the issues they're having and just expect you to be their sounding board, it shows an immense amount of trust in you to take in their problems while they vent.  They might not be open to listening to anything that goes against what they are saying when they are venting their frustrations. But they know they can count on you to give them a sound opinion ONCE they are open to hearing other views again with a cool head. They value your willingness to ride it out with them, whether it's about a problem at work or a fight they're having with a sibling or parent. It speaks volumes about your patience and love that they feel comfortable enough to open up to you immediately.

Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.