Lucky are those who find their "forever person" in the first one they fall in love with. However, a theory says that you fall in love twice before you find "the one."
If someone asks "how did you fall in love?" most of the time, we don't have an answer because love... just happens. Love is passionate, heartbreaking, unforgettable, and unique. But did you know that we fall in love thrice in our lifetime?
When author Kate Rose introduced the world to the idea that all of us fall in love only three times in her 2016 article in Elephant Journal, the whole thing seemed a bit hard to believe but the more she explained, it felt like it was true. According to the writer who also authored the book You Only Fall in Love Three Times: The Secret Search For Our Twin Flame, the first one makes you realize your expectations, the second makes you understand & love yourself, and the third teaches you what love truly is. This doesn't mean that you have only three relationships in your life, but that it's these three times that make a difference and help in shaping you to be the person you become.
The first time we fall in love, it's mostly during high school or college. This is the time when we're growing, have millions of crushes every other day. When we start dating someone, it feels like they are the only ones for us and nothing can do us apart, it's beautiful. However, no matter how intense or passionate it might be, the breakup, too, seems easy. Most of the time, it's either because we grow apart or over something which can be resolved by just talking.
Speaking to Popsugar, Dr. Brian Jory, Ph.D., author of Cupid on Trial said, "Nobody ever forgets their first love, but I like to say this about any loves or flings that you want to return to: you broke up for a reason. Maybe you've forgotten the reason, but more often than not, that reason is still there."
This is also the love which makes you question... Was it love or just infatuation? Well, it was love, but according to Kate, it is the type where "how others view us is more important than how we actually feel."
This is the love that hurts the most and the one that takes a lot of time to get over. It acts as a lesson that makes us realize what we really want from our life and our significant other. Sometimes, we might find ourselves in a loop of second love, falling for the same pattern, lies, pain, or manipulation that we desperately want to fix.
It's true when Mo Seetubtim, founder & CEO of The Happiness Planner, said, "When we’re in a relationship, we become so vulnerable emotionally that we realize what makes us feel whole, what completes us emotionally and what fulfills our self-esteem and self-confidence from the inside out," as per HuffPost.
However, the extreme emotional highs and lows keep us hooked, as Kate says, "It’s the love that we wished was right." But that is only until we fall in love one last time.
When you fall in love for the third time, you don't even realize it. It comes without a warning, you don't go looking for it, and mostly just creeps up on you. Kate says, "This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it."
It just breaks down every wall that you had built over the years for yourself and also the prerequisites that you had in your mind about falling in love. This is the one "that feels like home without any rationale; the love that isn’t like a storm—but rather the quiet peace of the night after," adds Kate.
It's the one "that actually lasts. The one that shows us why it never worked out before. And it’s that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you’ll stumble into love."
Disclaimer: This article is based on facts collated from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.
References:
https://www.popsugar.com/love/Bad-Think-About-Your-First-Love-When-Youre-Married-46355591
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/7-valuable-life-lessons-from-a-failed-relationship_b_5538960
https://medium.com/@michaelzampiglia/you-fall-in-love-with-3-people-in-your-lifetime-8858813cb79b
