You're a pillar of strength for the people around you, but you rarely let other people be the same for you.
There’s something very endearing about a strong woman – her independence, her freedom, the fire inside her. You walk into a room and people instantly find their eyes on you, because your very presence deserves attention. But even though people call you a great friend, confidant, and a shoulder to lean on, you still don’t find anyone you can comfortably confide in. A lot of times, you let yourself bury your pain and worries at the corner of your mind and put on a smile, not letting the world know what you’re really going through. Here’s why strong women like you are not loved enough:
The most striking feature that makes you an iron-willed woman is your emotional resilience. On most days, you don’t need people to push you through the day or make you feel better about yourself. Because you always seem so self-assured and confident, people might think that you don’t need their help or support because you seem like you have everything figured out. When you’re feeling low, you almost never show it on the surface, which stops people from reaching out and giving you their helping hand. All those times you wished to see a little kindness but failed to receive it, maybe it was because nobody could see your cry for help beneath the strong face you put up.
Most of your friends and family have you at the top of their speed dial. You are the first person they call when they need words of encouragement or someone to say exactly what they need to hear when they have something to deal with. But while you’re always there for people, you don’t always open up to everybody you know. You are very picky about who you show your true self to. You are aware that not everyone will give you the same commitment you give to the relationship. And this stops you from sharing your deepest fears and worries to just anyone.
There’s no question that you are clever and have a great intellectual side. You can hold your end of the conversation on more subjects with most people. But sometimes people don’t get past knowing you beyond those intellectual conversations. You don’t bother with people who are only ready to see your intellectual side but are too afraid to really get to know what’s lurking beneath. When people don’t take the effort to know your emotional side, you don’t waste your time with them. You keep it casual or let business be business. You don’t wait around to please people who can’t handle a woman with a heart and a strong mind.
No matter what, you always try to go the extra mile when someone you love is in desperate need. But most of the time you allow yourself to put other people’s needs ahead of yours. You’re always thinking about other people’s feelings and emotions, which makes you relate to what they are thinking. That’s why they find it so easy to talk to you. But remember that you don’t need to put your feelings on the back-burner all the time. Sometimes it’s okay to make yourself your number one priority. You don’t have to be strong for the entire world; be strong for yourself first.
You don’t believe in sugar-coating things or easing the harsh truth for people. Your friends and family know this about you and they know that when you say something, it might be hard to take but it’s for their own benefit. But when people who haven’t taken the effort to really know you see how honest you are, it shows that they are too weak to handle the harsh reality of their actions. If people can’t handle a blow of the truth, there’s no reason for you to mask it. When people are not emotionally secure, they won’t be able to handle the truth that comes from a strong woman.
Never do you let yourself expect something from others, even loved ones. You always prefer handling things on your own because you don’t want to burden other people with your problems. Also, you know that nobody can really get a hold of your problems better than yourself. Only you can truly understand what your needs are and give yourself the right solutions to your worries. While you don’t hold back on pouring your love out to others, you never voice out your opinions or let your needs be heard. That’s why people don’t know how they can be there for you when you need them.
One of the important things you have come to realize is that most people enter your life to use you for something they need. When you notice that people are too selfish in their ways, you are not going to give up on your ambitions. You are not going to step aside when someone tries to play games to get a promotion that you deserve; you won’t let someone walk all over you when they can’t be bothered to think about how they are hurting people around them. Your strong demeanor puts a lot of people in your bad books because you can read them for the kind of person they truly are.
People might think that you are high-maintenance or that you’re not easy to handle. But that’s the impression that people get when they only know you on the surface level, and that’s why you sometimes feel a dearth of love in your life. But it’s the people who really take the effort to know you who are able to see that beautiful inner self that hides behind your strong face. When you let your guard down and allow people to see the charming qualities that make you who you are, they will see that all the effort was completely worth it. They will thank themselves for having the patience and giving you the time you need to open up.
Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from different sources. The views expressed here are those of the writer.