Before we dive into the insanity of one family's so-called "tradition," I suggest you brace yourself.
Every family has their own set of traditions and they go all out with these weird rituals during marriages. But there's one that surely none of you have ever heard of, or even imagined could exist. Before we dive into the insanity of one family's so-called "tradition," I suggest you brace yourself. A troubled bride-to-be opened up about something ghastly she found out just two days before her big day. Taking to Reddit's relationship advice forum, user FarReference3 shared that her to-be in-laws had a weird tradition where her fiancé's father would have to "inspect" her vagina before the wedding to ensure her hymen was intact, thus signifying her purity. Yep, you read that right!
"My fiancé proposed to me about eight months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding which is in two days. Everything was going great. He seems absolutely perfect and we are very much in love. I am a virgin and so is he, he wanted to save it for marriage and I wasn't fussed so I agreed to saving it," she wrote, adding that her partner did mention the traditional before but she just ignored it thinking it was a joke. In all seriousness, who would crack such a sick joke? "He has told me earlier that in his family the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounds like a massive joke," she explained.
"No, turns out, he was dead serious. He wants me, the night before, to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing so his dad can check me while him, his brothers, and uncle can watch so that they know I am still 'pure,'" continued the bride-to-be who simply couldn't believe that her fiancé expected her to quietly agree to this nonsensical ritual. "I told him, fat chance I am going to do that and he was begging to me to go through with it and how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did [it] and it will prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide anyway as I am still a virgin. I left and he was crying, it was very dramatic," continued the post.
To this day, the hymen is a very misunderstood body part as most people associate it with losing one's virginity. The truth is, there are many reasons why one's hymen "breaks" and it's not just due to penetrative sex. According to Healthline, it stretches or thins over time which happens even if you insert a tampon inside. Activities like riding bicycles, gymnastics, dancing, and horseback riding, can also tear or wear the hymen down. In some cases, individuals are born without the tissue which according to the bride's in-laws signifies her virginity. And what if men were subjected to the same "virginity" tests? Would they readily agree to it to prove their love? Let's get one thing clear, no woman or anyone for that matter should be expected to conform to society's standard of purity.
Even Redditors on the platform were left fuming as they immediately pointed out the red flags to user FarReference3. User mayday_dnaenar shared, "Any time a person tells you “______ will prove how much you love me”, they are manipulating you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you love someone if you’re planning to marry them. Don’t let him play mind games like that." Another user shadowfaxx12 wrote, "She should make him go to his very own ballsack viewing by all of her female family members and they all get a chance to grope him. This is a disgusting tradition and is sexual assault. I can’t believe someone would ask a woman they love to do this. This isn’t love, OP. There are plenty of men or women who would never make you do something like this to prove anything and would in fact protect you from something so vile. Run fast, girl."
Thankfully, the bride-to-be was unmasked her partner's true nature before getting married and ultimately decided to end things. "I went and talked to him this morning. I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that. He was adamant that it needs to happen and accused me about lying about my virginity. I was trying to be calm and rational but he was not having it and just became [angrier]. I told him if he really loved me, he would stand by me on this and tell his father no, to which he slapped me and said he didn't need to prove anything. So I ended it and left him," she wrote. While she says she's "miserable and eating pizza" at her friend's place, I think it was the right choice.
Representative cover image source: Getty | Photo by Phongthorn Hiranlikhit / EyeEm