The country singer, 58, knows crying isn't a "weakness" but simply a natural part of the grieving process.
Trigger warning: This article contains themes of suicide that some readers may find distressing
It's been almost five months since Wynonna and Ashley Judd shared a heartbreaking statement announcing that their mother, iconic country star Naomi Judd had passed away. The Kentucky-born singer of the Grammy-winning duo, The Judds, was 76 years old when she died by suicide. Now, her daughter is opening up for the first time since the devastating loss of her mother. The country singer, 58, told PEOPLE, "How am I coping? It depends on the [situation]," she explained. "I'm on the phone talking and all of a sudden I'll just begin to weep. Then 10 minutes later, I'm making dinner and I'm talking to my husband about our date night. Then my granddaughter comes and I cry some more. I cry a lot. That's OK… It doesn't mean it's a sign of weakness."
Speaking of the loss, she said "In death, there is life. I feel both at the same time simultaneously," she said. "I feel joy and sorrow. I'm walking in a paradox. I'm literally a walking contradiction. I feel joy. I feel pain. I feel light. I feel dark." While the musician considers herself a tough person she also confessed she does have a tender side. She leaned on her "really wicked sense of humor" something she and her late mother had in common to get through these tough times.
Losing a mother is one of the hardest things you could ever go through. Praying for you @Wynonna and @AshleyJudd and sending all my love on the loss of @TheNaomiJudd, especially with @juddsofficial induction into the @countrymusichof tomorrow ♥️ pic.twitter.com/Yqv9JtZ30P— Marie Osmond (@marieosmond) April 30, 2022
The "Love Can Build a Bridge" singer also spoke to CBS Sunday Morning saying that the singing duo was going to be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. But before they could attend the event together, Wynonna received the news of her tragic death. “I got the call, and I went over, and I saw her and that was that. I said goodbye to her in the hospital, and I closed her eyes, and I kissed her forehead and that was that. And the next thing I know, I'm sitting here on the front porch...and I'm just trying to figure out what's next.” She added, “I did not know that she was at the place she was at when she ended it because she had had episodes before and she got better. And that's what I live in, is like, ‘Was there anything I should have looked for or should I have known?’ I didn't. That's why it's such a shock.” Despite it all, Judd confessed that she still “feel[s] her nudging me. And sometimes, I laugh. And sometimes, I say, 'I really miss you. Why aren't you here so we can argue?'”
Naomi had previously spoken up about her mental health in her 2016 book, River of Time: My Descent into Depression and How I Emerged with Hope. The musician revealed that she suffered from suicidal depression. "Nobody can understand it unless you've been there," the singer told PEOPLE at the time. "Think of your very worst day of your whole life — someone passed away, you lost your job, you found out you were being betrayed, that your child had a rare disease — you can take all of those at once and put them together and that's what depression feels like."
If you are having thoughts about taking your own life or know of anyone who is, please contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifelineat 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433).
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